Waking up at night I just about decide that I am not going to try to do this half ironman. In the darkness I can't see how I am going to get the right training done and I seriously question why I want to do this beast in the first place.
I feel very old in the middle of the night; too old for all this. Then I go over how to write that last blog on this venture. It's a midnight dive into resignation and despair. Mornings are not much better. In fact, it is almost noon before I get my "maybe I can do this" revived at all.
What can I say? I am teeter tottering on the brink of adventure extinction. But tonight, on my bike trainer I just killed it. Great ride. It was easy to say that my fitness has improved by all this. That's good and bad because more confusion and indecision are thrown in the mix. "Maybe" is still alive. Why won't it go ahead and die? I'm gonna pray about this. And let's see what happens at midnight tonight.
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