Three weeks and I haven't quit yet. So much has come against me. Most of it is other people and outside work responsibilities. Plus, the heat and humidity melt what resolve I have. I am tired. That's it. It's here.
It's not like I shouldn't expect this. Ironman training is not a day at the theme park. Now I remember how brutal and debilitating this can be. and I can look back and think "how did I get through all this before? I am somewhat amazed at my former self.
Maybe that's it? Maybe I want that picture back I had of myself before. Perhaps, I want amaze myself? Perhaps I looking for a good reason to admire myself? There is satisfaction in mowing the grass and getting things done outside but its not self-amazing. I am old, they say. Perhaps I am not satisfied with a life of passionless sameness, and low expectations that being this age is supposed to bring with it. Maybe I am not really that old yet? Perhaps I still need to make memories of overcoming days that bring smiles of pleasant reflection, to know that who I was, I still am. Thank you God
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