Day 60: Not Much

My back is still hurt from last week. My shoulder hurts from something I must have done yesterday; and my neck hurts along with it: nagging pain, and I had left for this bike ride not in the best frame of mind. My schedule said do 60 miles, but my motivation said if you can do 20 that might be enough. I couldn't find a good answer to the question: why do this?

The north wind was blowing, and that chill just added to the chill already in my soul for this ride; for the athletic experience. Painfully slow. Who cares. Am I really going to do this for several hours? No, surely not. Think of what I could be doing besides this: not much that means much; not much that can't wait until I get back. Goodness, but my back and neck don't seem to be hurting that much during the ride. Twenty miles into the ride and something seems different. Do I feel like quitting now. No, no much. I took the wind jacket off, ate something, got a big drink of water. What hurts now? Not much. My, but my pedaling seems so much smoother. There is still a lot of power in these old legs. Should I slow down and cool down the last few miles? Not much.

It is over; bowed over the handle bars in prayer. God has given me strength, perseverance, and courage today. What should I be afraid in my future? Not much.

Day 58: To Whom Much Is Given

Today I ran on the treadmill and swam a little over 3/4 of a  mile: a good day. This week is starting out so much better than last week and I can only hope it ends so much better also. This ironman pursuit; the training, can be such a roller coaster. But, so can life. From the lofty peaks and the dark valleys of this effort,  I can still see that God wants me in this. Sure, this may seem strange in this world,  but I can't help that. I would make it more believable if I could, but that is up to God. All I can say is:  it's the truth. Believed or not, it is still the truth. I am called out to this. My own "will to go on" has left the building a long time ago. My own determination, my own goal-seeking, my own effort ran out of gas a couple of years ago.

I am old, beat up, and covered up in cares, yet I am carried on;  I still go on for some reason, certainly not of my own strength. Perhaps this time the ironman will be a go; perhaps not.  But, perhaps now, God has me right where He wants me. "To whom much is given, much is required."


God never said the journey would be easy, but He did say that the arrival would be worthwhile.
Max Lucado

Day 57: Nothing to Lose

Amazing how easily it is to get off and stay off track. There is a vortex of ease and apathy that seems to pull at one who does not keep moving - at least it is that way with me. After two days off from training, it was so easy to put off putting my spirit into training. There is a strong temptation for ease, sameness, appetite, and an almost magnetic pull into the rut going nowhere. It is so easy to be turned aside and yet requires so much effort to stay on track. One really has to watch their back. The devil is coming after you in one form or the other, and the goal is to steal the force and squash the worthwhile dreams that only can come through discipline and effort.

So - do I go on? Or, do I succumb to the usual, the tasty, the comfortable; the rut. Regardless, of what might happen on the way to prize, there is no other good choice but to keep on until I can't go any more. What have I got to lose? God said, "Fear not, neither be ye dismayed." And, I have a good reason not to fear; not to be dismayed on some of these treacherous miles of the journey: "because the Lord thy God is with thee, whithersoever thou goest."

Day 56: Tomorrow

No training in two days. It seems like this latest problem with family medical has taken its motivational toll. Can I get started again? Do I really want to and possibly be derailed by something else? Tomorrow, I will try. Tomorrow, I will pray. Tomorrow I will obey. And if I obey to go on and cash in my chips, whatever God decides for me, I will learn to live with that. "I can do all things through Christ that strengthenth me." The good news is that it did give my back time to heal so no matter how this journey goes, "all things work together for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose."

Day 55: Cloudy Days

Rough day yesterday. But I did get a short run in and felt good about how my back held up. However, life happens on the way to heaven. And the rest of the day and the night got away unscathed by any serious training. This morning, it is raining and I still have much concern to take care of today. But, there is a sun behind those clouds and there is Son behind mine. And there is a God who has me covered on these twists and turns of the miles of my journey.

Day 54: Summiting the Tribulations

The back pain is still with me but I am mobile. Yesterday, I did a 2 hour and 49 minute trainer ride: no problem except now my right quad hurts. It isn't as if I have not expected trouble. It was just going too good. There has to come some storm and rain. "In the world ye shall have tribulations." The word is "shall", not "might" but "shall" have troubles. If it were not for the tribulation; if every day was all sunshine and rainbows, how could we ever have joy, appreciation and how could we ever gain endurance and perseverance? How could we ever become stronger, mentally, personally, and spiritually, if there were not mountains in our lives to climb? Thank God that He has given me enough heights to climb in this life and that I might finally summit one day unto the person He would have me be.

Day 53: Choose to Trust

Life is like a river and often we don't know what is around the bend. After a great week last week, this week started out badly and got worse. Needed a day off and took one; a complete day off. Yesterday, I went for a swim; the first serious swim in three weeks. In the health club getting ready for the swim, I leaned over and something seized up in my back. Back trouble has never been an issue with me. But, it became hard to straighten up without a lot of pain.

Somehow, I got dressed and went on down to get in the pool. At the end of each lap I would double up on the wall and stretch out my back. It wasn't the most pleasant swim but I did get about 2 miles done. It is still with me and one can guess the wonder, the doubt, the fear. But, this is where faith is tested and trust experienced or it is not. I chose to trust. Whatever happens to me; whatever happens to my training; I chose to trust and be grateful to God for the wonderful experiences I have already had yet ready to accept His will for my life and my training.