An Angels Work SAVE

 It was a hot, humid, summer day in Texas much like today and I was set up for a long bike ride.  I had 7-8 bottles of water to get me through the long ride. It didn't go as planned.  Something broke on my bike that I couldn't fix out on the road and my ride was done.  I was angry as I had worked and planned for this long ride and needed to get this one in for my training schedule to stay on track.  But, there was nothing to do but get in the truck and take it home in a foul mood of frustration and disappointment.  That is where God showed up.

On a long stretch of road I saw a vehicle with the hood up on the side of the road.  I slowed to see what was going on to find an older black man looking  at his radiator hiss at him.  I stopped and walked over.  Other vehicles came along but none stopped.  The man was on his way to his daughter's house about 3-4 miles down the road and his old car couldn't stand the strain of Texas highway heat.  Those were before the days of cell phones and the old man had no money anyway.  

We talked a while - a really nice gentlemen- while his car cooled down a bit.  Then the idea came to me. I went to my truck and got all my bike bottles I had planned for my big, had to get done bike ride, and one by one poured the contents into his radiator.   The old man smiled when I told him I would follow him to his daughters house to see he made it without overheating his car again.   He made it just fine and I waved good bye to him and he thanked me over and over with a God bless you thrown in here and there.  

That day I did something for someone who couldn't do anything for me but make me feel really special for  being in place for God to use me to help the old man.  There was joy I felt in being obedient that is hard to describe. The well done I felt from God made me feel special like I done an angels work on that hot summer day.  

Hold My Hand Lord

 

"When you start doubting yourself, remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you faced; all the battles you have won, and all te fears you have overcome.  Your greatest strength come in your weakest days"  

Today was a day of doubt; one of those weakest days.  Where can I go from here?  What can I do from here?  Who can I become from here?  

I was diagnosed with A-Fib -erratic beats of the heart, bringing with it the heightened possibility of heart attack or stroke.  The numbness caused by this diagnosis still has me in a numbed state.  Now it might seem my time to join in the little old men's pill lines to receive a bit a of life to wash down with a bit of water, then wait until lunch or dinner and the next pill line to shuffle to.  Not my idea of a life. 

The big suspense is how I will take this once the numbness of the diagnosis gives way to reality on hard terms.  I just don't know and I just have to depend.  Hold my hand Lord 

The Only Way Home

 

Miles of the Journey - Along your miles do you often contemplate the end of that journey?  Perhpaps at the death of someone you knew well, you seriously had a scary look at your own mortality.  Or, you vistited a cemetery and seen rows of stones and other type markers.  Did you wonder then, is that all there is to this journey.  Is life but the time between born and dead dates?  Does life consist of the dash between the dates? 

I don't want this journey to end, do you? But it must and I want to end well.  But I can see that that takes some real courage.  Despite all the religious noise we made along our journey of life the fabric of our faith will get  tested to its core. Do you have faith enough to step out into the waters of death without whining, I ask myself?  As my own health seems to be deteriorating, I still believe I do.  To be honest there is a sublimal anger, I think, that God is putting me through this and abandoning me.  At a time when I should be feeling closer, there is a strange distance in our relationship.   Maybe when I move myself closer to accptance, and give up my spoiled child attitude, we will be close again.  For now, I don't have any warm fuzzies to keep me warm in these cold times, and I have to have faith in the dark.  No fulfilled "bucket list" will navigate this lonesome journey we all have to take.  Yes, "nevertheless," I still believe:  God has the only way home.

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There Is Still An Ember

 

We are burning a stump out on the place.  A fire of varying magnitude has been kept going on it for a couple of days and nights now.  This morning there was no sign of fire or embers.  Had the fire gone out?

A few leaves thrown on the ashes told otherwise.  It wasn't much but the fire was still there to be rekindled and be about the business of burning out the stump.

So it seems with the rocky year we have had in the year 2020.  Sometimes it seems there is no fire left in me or others.  But God has another plan.  Embers still beneath the ashes - though small right now - will bring the fire to our lives again.  Good is not through here.   Amid all the problems and conflict coming with the election and the COVID pandemic, there are still embers put there by God, that we might fan ourselves to flame yet again.

This may seem too optimistic to some, but  I envision a big roaring fire going on and in our lives in the future.  I see smiling, happy people, crowds, people  hugging one another fearlessly; laughing out loud, going places, doing things, and feeling more grateful than ever for the simple privileges of life that we practically took for granted before

May our embers be fanned to flame to become a catalyst that makes us one in joy.  

Time After Time, After Time, After Time SAVE

 Is there any other good choice but to try?  Doesn't failure to try begin and end with failure already?  Why choose failure without trying first?  Why give up until totally defeated?  My view is that the spirit is broken long before the body is. 

"A man is never defeated until he is defeated in spirit."  Protect the spirit as one of the most vital assets we have for fulfillment.  It must be guarded against from outside influences. You know:  the chicken little, the sky is falling and subsequent  panic crys of the media using any opportunity to scare you into staying tuned until perhaps they can sell you something.  Be careful.  You have the money and they want it.  Besides doomsday prophets out to make a buck, we  must be on guard ourselves  againt naysayers that can  often be  friends and families.  Additionally,  we must be guard against our own laziness and lack of courage and take a stand for hope in our lives. We have to make the choice to be ourselves and refuse to buckle under the surf of that cascading waves of negativativity  the voice of the world sometimes heaps upon us, time after time after time. Negativity won't quit.  We can't either.

And so, time after time after time, after time, we must put our faces into the winds of misfortune and negativity, grit our teeth, look to the heavens and say "NO."  

As an example, time after time, after time, I have failed at my ironman quest. The sky is not just falling, it has fallen on me several times already.  My life is cluttered up and covered with broken sky pieces.  Common sense would say it is time to "stay down." Don't get up to take another beating.  The demons of negativity spotlight all my former failures and whisper in my ear, mercilessly  reminding  me  that I am too old for this.  Their winds of misfortune discourse  blows  hard against the spirit the demons try so hard to break.   

Somehow, from that everpresent Somewhere, I find the Hope within and without. Somehow, I still put my face into those winds, look toward  heaven  between clinched teeth and say "NO."  I will try again. God's still got it. The spirit of Hope is still intact and it will be - time, after time, after time. 

Just One More War

 "You never miss the water until the well runs dry."  Simple.  Homespun, but solid logic. There is so much I miss about my former life.  I miss the war. In Rocky III, the character Apollo Creed said  to Rocky when Rocky talked about it being  time to get civilized.  

"We are the warriors," he told Rocky.  "We don't have a choice."  I indelibly remembered that line the first time I heard it.  It resonated with everything inside me.  It brought me to a more honest self evaluation then, as it does now in reflecting upon it.  

So what does a "warrior" do when the only war to fight is to get to the dentist's office on time or how to correctly wear the face mask?"  I'll tell you what I do during these times:  I simmer inside.  There is a me trying to keep it all stuffed itself inside but I know that sooner or later it will escape.  

At the same time there is a gratitude felt for the culling protocol forced upon me by this extended incarceration.  I have found that  productive and meaningful relationships have deepened while the ones shallower than I thought they were have dropped off the back.  

Another good thing is that now I vividly know that, as Apollo said, "I have no choice."  I have vividly come to realize there is no way I can live with myself other than by being myself.  Being myself won't be normal so I have to give that up.  After reaching 76 years of age you would think by now I would have realized I will never be normal.  Thank God for that. 

Thank God...that's another good thing.  I have grown closer partly because I need Him more to help me navigate through this bog.  I spend a lot of time holding on to  His hand plodding through the heavy muds of this seemingly hopeless and unending swamp.  But He is there as He said He would be, never to  leave me or forsake me.  I smile.  I love that.  

But God, you made me an old warrior.  Free me for the war.  Bring back the ironman for me and in me.  Just one more chance.  Just one more war.  

Preface Thoughts on a Triathlon Life

This is the preface of the book I just put together containing words and photos on each of the 53 triathlons I have done.  It is more or less written for myself - but.

My Triathlon Life in Words and Pictures

 

 Probably this work will mean little to anyone other than myself and perhaps a few family members. That’s OK.  These photos were collected, and events recalled so that in a hazier future, I might revisit and relive these moments of challenges and experience.  And, who knows?  There is always the chance that someone might read this and become inspired to go on and pursue whatever it is that lights their fire.

 

My story started with running.   As a lifelong asthmatic, I had the benefit of being able to amaze myself when I began to be able to run and breathe at the same time.  The amazement grew and grew, and my athletic achievements blossomed with the blessing of being able to do marathons.  Amazing I thought; as good as gets; the end game.  But God had something more.

 

One day photos in a magazine of fit, body- marked triathletes caught my eye.   They looked a little more "peaked out" than I felt like I was.  Intrigued, I read about what they did and how they trained.  A vision was born.   I knew I wanted some of that, someday.   I did not know how to swim distances nor was I familiar with the bike, but something inside wanted to one day be counted among those that get body marked.   

Praise God, I have lived almost all that dream.  Only the full Ironman distance has eluded me.  Perhaps, this is my “thorn in the flesh” put into my life to keep me humble?

 

So, in humble gratitude to God, I submit these stories and photos of a life well-lived.   When this is all over, I can look back and see that I did the work, paid the price to live the life I would have imagined for myself:  I have been body-marked.  I am a triathlete.  Praise God for it.