Waiting at the Wall

I was 57 when I taught myself to swim (the crawl). Oh, I could muddle around and stay afloat but locomotion wasn't part of the picture. After watching some swim training videos and every good swimmer at any pool I was at, I became a decent swimmer.

Today, I went to the pool but I noticed that I no longer look for those to imitate. I just started swimming. A lady got in the lane next to me and seemed to be timing off me. She also seemed to be a little faster than me. I reasoned that she was the better swimmer; she will push me too far past myself and it would be better to wait on the wall when I get there and let her go on.

There was a moment of choice at the wall and, thankfully, I took the harder path. Pushing off the wall, I continued to swim with this lady. Sure I pushed a little but the strokes started coming. The rhythm was not as hurried and frantic as I thought it would be. I was moving well.

Then I realized that I had put almost half a pool length on the other swimmer. That wonderful rhythm, that power in the pull, was still there and I remember being thankful for that lady in the next lane.

The swimmer I almost stopped for because of my supposed inferiority, was lapped five times in 2000 yards. I had the best swim that I can remember.

Do you suppose that is the way it is with life. Do you suppose we limit ourselves with our fearful self-perceptions. This day, these moments, these choices will not last for us forever. Why wait at the wall, giving in to fearful self perceptions? Why not push on, step out, dream bigger, expect more, aim higher? Why not make the choice to take the risk of losing. Is that really a risk? Waiting at the wall is losing already.

Faith

It never fails to amaze me how I can feel so depleted and emptied like I feel now and later rise to another great workout. There are so many "walk of faith" analogies in endurance sports. If I believed the present, I wouldn't believe I could get out of bed for the rest of the day. But I don't believe the present. I believe the promise. I believe in new life again - both physically, personally, and most especially spiritually.

Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1

Scared in a Good Way

My main event is just a little over a month away. It scares me; scares me in good way I suppose. Just thinking about it heightens my senses. I catch my breath. So great to be caught up in this, to have a goal, a passion this deep.

It will hurt at some point and I catch myself wondering how I will stand in against that time. I have been there before many times and in the end found myself smiling. Still there is an element of fear; a tidbit of doubt, and I am glad this still does this to me.

The training is down to a few weeks. Soon it will be over and I will miss it. Over the months it has been a friend that daily, has shown me direction and discipline. Am I really ready for that friend to leave? However, there are so many projects that have been waiting on me: projects I have put off until "after this is over." Now I consider: do I really want it to be over?

Yes, there will probably be a period of ordinary activities with lesser time for swun/bike/run. But my guess is, that time will be short. Even at this age, I am essentially a child with a short attention span for what does not scare me a little or makes me catch my breath.

Today

Things seems like they are piling on as the event draws nearer. This week one family member had a light operation, another was diagnosed with a brain tumor and will be operated on tomorrow, My wife set up a test to see if her cancer is back. Another more distant family member had his funeral today. Time to take heart. Time to strengthen the resolve, to stand firm in the Faith. And in experiencing that Faith, and standing in that Faith, see the blessing it is to have the health, the will and opportunity to do the training and be this person---today.

Tomorrow, I will go out for my long ride of the week. God willing, the strength will be in my legs, the wind will flutter in my face. Somewhere among the miles, I will thank God for this life; today.

Invincible Hope

Early morning, breaking dawn and it is the first cool spell of the season. After so many sweat dripping training episodes, finally the heat is about to abate. In the stillness, looking out over my place, large trees cast shadows in half light, stars twinkle like diamonds in the dark blue sky. A rooster crows in the distance. Change is happening again. Change, always constant, greets this morning. And, I greet the morning with a hope that is always constant, even though that hope is sometimes subdued by momentary difficulties. Hope springs eternal, bobs to the top like a fishing bobber pulled under; pulled down but not destroyed, given new life to rise again.

Not This Time

I was ready. Though I didn't sleep that well, I woke with a good attitude that seemed to set the tone and tempo for the whole day. No doubt I was feeling up for this sprint triathlon (650 meter swim-14.5 mile bike-5k run). I was talking to everyone I met. In those predawn hours getting ready to race, I seemed to have an exuberance that left folks smiling when I left them-or maybe they were just glad to be rid of me and my malarkey. It was like a runner's high but before the race.

The flag, the national anthem played on a trumpet, hands to hearts, the dawn rising over the lake; an event in the offing. I felt so blessed to be there and for the health to participate.

The swim went well. Easy does it. There was just enough contact with other swimmers to keep it interesting. Strokes came easy and smooth. When I found myself alongside another swimmer, I always pulled a little harder to swim faster and leave them behind me. I was pumped. However, I had no bubbly illusions as to my placing in the overall event. I know the truth and I am good with that.

My main bike has a broken frame and I had to use my old back up bike. However, we seemed to do well on the hills which came frequently. I wanted to be on the lookout for a hill on the return that is especially steep. Last year on this course, I had to get off and walk my bike there. There were some screaming downhills and some quad straining uphills but I love courses like that. On the way out I took note of the bad hill in order to be in the right gear for it this time. Coming back, hill after hill, then I saw what I thought was my marker for the killer hill. Must be in better shape. That hill was hard but not all that bad. The wicked witch is dead. But, oh no, just ahead was the real killer hill. My speed dropped like a rock and I found myself standing, barely able to turn the pedals. Maybe I should get off and push the bike, I thought. If I go any slower, I reasoned, I might fall over. I wondered could I keep this grinding up. Maybe I should get off the bike after all?

My race was there. My race was then. No, not this time, I resolved. I am in this; no getting off the bike. Not this time. And at that moment, I managed a smile, through gritting teeth. Sometimes a smile can take you places your body doesn't think it can go. The hill was mine!!

I was rocking and rolling then, passing riders coming into T-2. The run felt good and I set myself on an a decent pace for me. I still felt strong. The humidity was visible. One young man was throwing up on the side of the road. Some people were walking but I felt strong. I even passed a few runners; something that doesn't happen that much anymore for me. A couple people that passed me told me I was an inspiration. They couldn't believe, I suppose, that it took them this long in this event to pass a dinosaur.


The finish line banner in view, I quickened my pace and finished strong, with a big smile. Sometimes I can barely drag myself in to finish but not this time. No, not this time. I felt so blessed. This was truly a great day; one to thank God for.

http://rosecitytri.com/

Settling for Less

At my age I cannot help but sometimes think about the end of this life on earth. Increasingly, I want good answers to questions as I see the time draw nearer.

Did I settle? Did I settle for “close enough?” Could I have done more, been more, praised more, wept more, helped more, pushed more,reached more, risked more? Will I find at the end of it all, my life has been a half-eaten piece of fruit, enough, but not quite filling or fulfilling. Will I notice an absence of that feeling full feeling? Did I pour my life into the course set upon and not turned aside to lesser ends? Did I quit at mile twenty-three of the marathon? Did I leave my best finish still smoldering within me, never fanned to flame as life passes beyond opportunity?

My greatest fear is not death, but in failing to live out the blessings God has bestowed upon me and dying before my time with life left within me, because I settled for less.

"Choose not to settle. Pursue your God-given goals, knowing it's never too late to accomplish everything God has placed in your heart."