Facing the Waves

I am dreading this long run in the morning. It is not "if" it will beat me up but "how much?" Another fear to overcome on this journey.

But, the miles behind me have left experiences to foster courage for today, for tomorrow.

One particular memory takes me to an early morning before daylight, the morning of the event. The hotel lights shown that the American flag was flapping vigorously in the wind. Oh no ! What about those waves on the lake?

When we arrived at the race site it was still dark. In the blackness, I could hear waves rolling into shore. Oh my! Can I swim in choppy water? How bad will it be? Surely, we won't go out if is too bad. Am I going to drown?

When daylight came there was but one thing to do: get in the water. My practice swim revealed that I could indeed swim with some chop on the water. It was not as bad as it sounded or as foreboding as I had imagined in the dark. In fact, the practice swim was downright fun.

Tonight, I am playing my rough swim card; not believing what I might dread and fear in the night but strip myself of negative predictions and sleep well to wake and embark into the morning, to partake of beauty, and have fun reveling in health and blessed opportunity.

A Different Me

There was vigor in my training today that had not been there recently. Same heat, same distances, same course; different me. And ultimately, when I flesh out all the spin I put on my own self-perception, I find that I thankfully have been training in many areas to nurture a different me. A different me, who has truly trained to the best of his ability; no excuses. A different me that can peacefully accept that my best may no longer be what it once could have been. A different me that is more tolerant, forgiving, caring, patient, and loving. A different me that can truly give thanks to God for any difference I might have made on this earth. In all areas of life, God willing, tomorrow I will keep training toward that different me.

Hope in the Heat

Tough training week coming up; very hot, very humid. The cattle are in the ponds cooling off. The stray cat is panting in the heat. The pool water at the health club was just a little over 90 the other day...yes, these are the "dog days."

Heat can be more than just a physically debilitating factor. It can weaken and destroy resolve as well. Out there training, the body can be drained down by the heat with resolve bleeding out along with the volumes of sweat.

Today, the world of heat and humidity will take the index into triple digits. God help me to have steadfast resolve, anchored in the assurance-blessed assurance-that better weather, a better day will surely come. This is my story this Sunday night, tomorrow, and for all eternity. Hope: even in the heat. Thanks God.

Following the Fire

Well, I am in. Signed up for my half ironman distance triathlon this afternoon. No one(other than my wife) would know or care whether I do this or not. It makes no difference in the cosmic scheme of things. In five years, no one will remember the winner, much less some old geezer struggling to finish at the back of the pack. Looking at it like that, it appears as a meaningless, inconsequential endeavor.

But,it is not. I feel there is more to life and to sport, than being remembered. It is an expression, in a large part, of who I am. If I didn't do triathlons, I would do something else that would evoke that same expression from me. I know. Triathlon is not the first passion I have through which I could that expression. Of course, I am hopelessly enamored with this lifestyle: bitten and smitten, not easily converted to a mentality of resignation. Is there really any other choice but to follow my truest self, even if it leads me over a cliff? It is almost like, now that I know, I am both blesed and burdened to kindle that fire within me and to follow its warmth and its light.

"One cannot consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."Helen Keller

Rematch

Perhaps I am starting to get into it, feel the cooler weather coming, sense the fitness increasing, the gleam of hope in my eyes. It is about time to sign up for my goal event: http://www.out-loud.org/ironstar_triathlon.htm

When I attempted this one in younger days, I was not in nearly as good of shape as now. I was scared but excited; if that makes sense. And though, I failed at this, it was a good experience.

I was happy about the start..foggy morning... touch and go whether they would let us go out. Mostly I was happy because the water was warm enough whereas I didn't have to wear a wetsuit.


Oh, the start! I can remember thinking, "Oh my goodness, I really am in a half ironman distance triathlon. Help me here God." I can remember getting sort of a cramp in my left hamstring as I made the turn toward shore. And there was deep mud at the exit, but the eager, helpful volunteers helped me out of the mud and onto the bank. Now, I was on fire; the swim was done!



The bike: my goodness, I was excited, just really into it, despite the fact that my gears weren't working properly. Somehow, I couldn't get out of the big ring in the front or the small ring in the back. After stopping a couple times to work on it, I decided to do single speed for the rest of the course. It was working, and I passed a lot of people. In fact, I passed everyone I could see. When I didn't see anyone ahead for many minutes I began to wonder and when I pulled up in a small town that wasn't on the course map, I knew I was lost.

The town drive-in grocery was full of local folks having their morning coffee and talking about things. I gave them something to talk about, going in there to use the phone in my spandex, with numbers all over my body and a big number on my belt. But all were friendly and very helpful...while waiting for my wife to come pick me up, we had a few laughs at my predicament.


Sorry about the photo quality but these were the days before we had a digital camera.
It was great to revisit this experience and I thank God for it. Now, I know the course.(sorry it doesn't include that little store). Now I am better prepared. Now, it's time for a rematch.

Saving the World

It was near the end of a good 3 hour bike ride today and I was pulling up to a major intersection. I had looked back just moments before and saw no vehicles, but now I heard the telltale blaring of a 18 wheeler behind me. He was coming hard and there was a stop sign and cross traffic. Maybe his brakes are out and he was trying to warn me that he couldn't stop? I considered getting on the other side of the road but there was oncoming traffic. He got right behind me and laid down on the horn. Who knows what is going on in this driver's head? Maybe he is on something and having hallucinations? Maybe he has a serious, life saving deadline to deliver his cargo; like a major store being out of birdseed or something? Who knows but that the fate of the world depended on him delivering his world-saving cargo? Why else would he be driving in the crisis mode?

I just didn't know what he wanted me to do except disappear before his eyes and be out of the way. My "disappear" button was broken however, so I jumped off the bike, put it on my shoulder and ran down into the ditch and up the other side into the field. As he turned the corner, I made a pleading, palms up gesture to ask, "OK, is that enough. Do you feel better now?"

Probably, this was a good thing. I made some poor soul happy today by letting him win this one. And he probably got where he was going and saved the world as we know it. It was a great bike too.

Digging Deep

HOT !
Even the early morning run got me soaked, followed by a 50 minute swim in my pond. Even that water was hot on top, unlike the pool water which is hot top to bottom. Then a bike ride. By then it was even hotter and I had to start digging a little deeper. Workout time in, I thought, "Why not just push on through and do more."

Then the little wise man on my shoulder shouted louder than the little idiot on the other shoulder, "NO"!!

It is not gut-check time; no time to go any deeper into yourself. This is not race day. Digging down, tearing down to the point of requiring tons of recovery, should be reserved for the race effort. And what might such an effort do to my ability to train the next few days.

Racked the bike in the truck feeling satisfied with the decision and looking forward to my three hour bike ride tomorrow.