Stay Down !

My favorite scene in Rocky is in the late rounds when he is hit with a vicious uppercut that knocks Rocky stupid. He is floundering around on the floor trying to find the ropes to pull himself off the floor. The opponent is raising his arms, signifying that this should do it. He will win. But Rocky is still trying to pull himself off the floor while everyone in his corner is yelling at him to stay down, stay down!

Last year, I trained hard, but my Mother's health and hospitalizations forced me to cancel my half ironman attempt. Not until January did her situation level off and then I had to have rotator cuff surgery. What next? I processed thoughts of forgetting the whole thing and just become like any other man my age. Take it easy now. Stay down!

Recovering from the shoulder operation, I walked briskly in my woods daily, arm in a sling. Sometimes though, during these brisk walks, the breathing became a little heavier, sweat formed on my brow, and I found my heart reaching for the ropes to pull myself up, to fight again, though the world seem to be saying, "stay down."

Eight months of training later, a half ironman distance triathlon has been completed and there such peace. Getting up off the canvas was worth it. And, I doubt it would feel this great or mean this much to me, if I had not been sorely tempted to "stay down."

Humble

It is still with me ! I can't believe I feel so good and I have to wonder: did I just get beat up one day or has that one day changed me? If indeed, I have been changed, was it for better or worse? For me, this good post event feeling is different and hard to fathom, much less explain.

Today, in trying to express this to my wife, she said she thought I felt humble. Humble. That pretty much says it. Humble to the distance covered and that one like myself could do that. Humble to the support and concern received from all those I didn't even think were paying attention to my training or my effort. Humble to the quality of participants I swam, biked and ran with. Humble, and grateful to God for the storms He has brought me through, that I might more fully appreciate and revel in this one day. Humble - at the closeness I feel with God. Humble: and changed for the better-yes, very good day.

"Peaceful, Easy Feeling"

I did it ! After years of goal postponements, the day would yield to either the day of my dreams or the day of my nightmares. It became the day of my dreams. No great earthshaking performance - just a plodding, purposeful effort with missile-lock on the finish.

My effort was in honor of my brother-in-law, John, who is running his race against brain and lung cancer. His photo was on my back; his plight was in my heart. When things got a little rough, I thought of him; the radiation and chemo, and I knew I didn't have it all that bad. Just keep moving forward.

He was pleased with my performance and so was I. Now, the day after, I have a grin on that just won't seem to go away. I have that "peaceful, easy feeling" of one who has been blessed.

It Comes Down to This

It comes down to this. Today, my last post before the event, my last mile in this journey. Am I afraid of failing at this? Do I fear I will crash and burn somewhere out there? Of course. Do I fear not finishing for my brother-in-law, John, who I am doing this event in honor of?

But I fear not trying more - leaving a challenge unanswered and a dream unlived. For those moments in time, the event will be life. And the fear puts a grin on, and I thank God for this opportunity. I could be in the hospital like John, facing many more awful trials than just one day of swim/bike/run. God willing, I will recover in a few days, but his race, his trials will go on and on.

So while the day is in me and my light still burns, God let me do this well for one whose day is shorter and whose light is dim. Amen

Is There Any Tread Left on My Tires?

In the beginning: resolve, inspiration, motivation and hope. Now as it winds down to a couple days, what remains? After all the miles of the journey is there any tread left on my tires? Are they prepared better or worse for the remaining miles of the journey of life?

It will be interesting and illuminating when it is all over to find what was lost and what was gained. Like the title of George Sheehan's book asks: Did I Win? There is one thing I know: there has been a change. I would like to believe the change is growth; growth nurtured by risings and fallings, watered by hope and fed by faith.

Dedicating My Best

The rash that was on his head has spread to his body to include the inside of his mouth. That was the report from a call just moments ago. My brother-in-law is fighting cancer ( brain, lung) and this is probably side effects from the radiation.

This Sunday I am dedicating my half ironman distance performance to him. His picture will be worn during the event while I keep him in my heart, wishing in some way, to share my health and vitality with him.

I told him that if I fail, please know that I will have done my best. Surely, it is true that in giving our best, succeed of fail, we will be blessed through it.

I Have Been Blessed

The curtain comes up in just a few days...So far, no surprises. I am tired but getting rested; sore in a couple spots but getting better. Been here before.

Over these miles of the journey, I have been through much; many ups and downs, many illuminating, inspiring instances. I wouldn't trade a thing.

A man at my church, waiting for his cancer prognosis, smiled at me and said, "I have had a good life. Never had all I wanted but always had all I needed. I have been blessed."

That is pretty close to how I feel. God has given me this journey, revealed His hand in and through that journey. No matter what happens: I have been blessed.