Sunday, May 17, 2020

Maybe, Just Maybe

Sunday morning and the rain is over for the time being and the sun is out.  There is hope even in the storms.  Yesterday, I ran for an hour and a half on muddy roads in a pouring rain.  It should have been a misery but it wasn't.  There was something of a peace from knowing I was overcoming.  No-matter-what was being faced down out there and I was winning.

And today, as I smile in satisfaction about yesterday, I think that maybe that is the way it is going to be in completing an ironman. Completing an ironman?  Haven't I heard the news?  Can't I understand that ironman is done for me.  By the time they get a handle on this virus thing, I will be so old they will have to start an antique age group for me.  Maybe I am too old already.  Maybe there won't even be any more ironman events except virtual ones, with no rain, wind, and muddy roads to overcome?  Maybe the conquest of yesterday has no bearing on the performance of tomorrow?

Just maybe.  Maybe is the hope, however slim its chances of fruition. Maybe gets me out there to hang on to that small thread that maybe, just maybe God has a plan for this; a plan for me to run in the rain on muddy roads and be thankful for it.

Friday, May 8, 2020

Fuzzy Future - Really ?

With all this quarantine stuff  my little world of doing endurance sports has a fuzzy future.  Who knows but that the old style of social interaction at these events will ever be the same.  Will it be worthwhile for what I want out of it?  This future is uncertain.  Our view ahead indistinct: a fuzzy future in my eyes but not for God.  God has got this and I have to believe that however the big world turns out; how my little world ends up, it is well.  This isn't the end of the story whatever happens; it is well with my soul.  

A  piece of  a devotion by Max Lucado speaks so well to this:

Here’s what you tell yourself: “I’m still God’s child.  My life is more than this life.  These days are a vapor, a passing breeze.  This will eventually pass.  God will make something good of this.  I will work hard, stay faithful, and trust Him no matter what.”
Choose to heed the call of God on your life.  You are God’s child.  Your life is more than this life, more than this broken heart, more than this difficult time.  God won’t break a promise. You will get through this!
MaxLucado. com 

Sunday, May 3, 2020

Fear Not

There is a saying that those who fail to plan, plan to fail. But sometimes even the planned can fail, can't it?  Take the pandemic for instance. Who could have planned for that entirely.  In the poker game of life, plan all you can but you still have to play the hand that is dealt you.  How you do that determines whether you succeed or not. 

So, I can plan to play the hand I have been dealt and play it well.  O don't plan to fail, but if I do hit a snag, failure isn't final with God.  In fact, many times it is just the starting line for more than one could dream of.  

What does that mean?  It means I am going to train for a half ironman event which may or may not occur.  I will train without actually paying for the entry until there is surety, and if not, I will do a half ironman here on my place in the country.  The same will apply with doing the ironman next spring.  The only drawback would be the races filling up and I wouldn't be able to enter.  However,  under the present set of circumstances, I can't see that happening.  But it could and I have planned for that too:  if the events fill up, I can still do my event here.  

Man is never defeated until defeated in spirit.  And there are times I get down on recent events and how they cloud the future.  But my Father is with me in all this and two words scattered throughout the Bible are "Fear Not."

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

What I Missed----------What I Miss

What I Missed---Ironman Texas 2020 : I would be getting a little antsy about now. My wife would be summoning all her patience and understanding for my mood altered behaviors. I would be working on a high rev about now; checking, double checking, lists, reminders, what ifs and all the good stuff. I would doubt I did enough training. I would fear I had done too much this close to the race. I would review again the nutrition plan and review again the plan for all that had to be done and when. I would obsess unnecessarily, I know but that is part of the bang for the buck for me. Tomorrow I would be planning to leave Thursday morning and would start to be scared in a wonderful way. I would fear what could happen yet yearn for the start when all becomes settled and purpose and a peace pervades.

Sunday, April 19, 2020

Thrilled at the Dawn

The light is still burning.  No matter what has happened in the past I feel the dawn rising in my heart, bring light to corners dark with the disappointments of the past couple of months.  God must not consider me too old to dream, to be thrilled with a new dawn of hope.  After all, God is the author and finisher of faith and I think hope as well.   And, He has placed dawn within my heart here recently though I am not sure how it will flesh out.  This is sort of the dawn of an unplanned day.  I am truly getting excited as I feel this urging on within though I don't know where it is urging me to.

The beauty of it is it doesn't matter because God is setting this up and whatever that may be it will be exciting and fulfilling.  God knows I love that and  I am His child.  I do get the sense that it will be something to do in endurance sports though right now that doesn't look promising with the coronavirus causing so much havoc with our society and the world.

It's ok.  Walking by faith not by sight; thrilled at the dawn.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Week 30 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Wounded - The End of this Dream

The Coronavirus thing has really gotten scary for us old folks.  Several large events have already been cancelled and I would not be surprised if Ironman Texas will be cancelled as well. Regardless of what the rest of the world does and think,  my wife and I don't feel good about being in an international crowd at our advanced age.  And, given the compromised immune system  one usually gets from taking  the body farther than it wants to go, it wouldn't be a good time to be in crowds.

This came in this afternoon March 13, 2020 - At this time, we can confirm that the 2020 IRONMAN Texas triathlon will not take place as planned on April 25, 2020. We are working diligently to secure venues and a new race date for the IRONMAN Texas triathlon. 

My Ironman dream is over, and who knows if it will ever to come to life again. Right now it seems doubtful that I have another one of these training regimens in me.   This part of life seems to be leaving the station without me.  I did the best I could, and gave it to God. He said, "No."

So now with no journey I am scattered and drifting.  Maybe it is time to let go and drift downriver for a few moments and  just savor all the great days of the journey;  all  the triumphs and all the disappointing workouts which blended  together made the canvas of this painting so beautiful.  Not many people get to live like I have the past few years, especially at this age. Adding it all up over my seven plus months of training I find I have ran 665 miles, biked 4031, and swam 31.  A lot of hard work for an old relic.  Sure I am   severely disappointed but,  after  all the Miles of the Journey,  I find myself stronger - physically and mentally  and  more resilient, more accepting of myself and others, more grateful to God for the revelations that can only be learned by failure and disappointment.   Within me the Miles of the Journey seem to have left a heightened awarenss  of what are the  truly important things in life.

This is not to say that dropping out  is all sunshine and rainbows:  no, not at all.   Something I want bad enough, I have usually achieved.  So, learning to live with the failure and frustration of  giving my best effort and still not being able to quite make the reach will haunt me for a while.  Recovery will involve  learning  to live  wounded to a certain degree for a time.   But lots of people learn to live with things that don't work out  and so can I. Maybe that is one of the lessons.  After all, I AM an IRONMAN.  I just never got to prove it at an event.   And, even if I had known the ending in the beginning, I would do it all over again.  I am blessed.

 Thank you readers for following these wonderful Miles of the Journey. God bless you.