20th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - NEW YEAR

Happy New Year tonight finds me with a new supply of resolve for doing this ironman.  It is not certain whether I have ever felt this forward at this time on my other ironman training attempts which all ended in failure. Today I finished my training plan and it really looks scary.  But this time it seems I am more in a "bring it on" mode than ever before when confronted with the enormity of this task.  Last week I had some rocky spots but came through with my resolve intact.  Praise God for that.

Adding up the years training totals, it wasn't a bad year overall. There were some setbacks early but my consistency has been good and I think that is quite important in this kind of challenge. Something is different.  It seems I am more into God and God is more into me at this time.  Whatever I need to do to hold that position, I need to do that.

So as 2019 fades, 2020 begins, I look at all the hard training to come and my heart quickens with fear and my lips smile at the challenge and my heart thanks God for this life and this opportunity.

19th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Focus Practice

Last week had to be pulled out of the fire.  So many outside issues with Christmas coming up and the home repairs required put a crimp in my getting training in.   However, on a physical level, I seem to be holding up well. In fact, I think my running has greatly improved and my bike endurance is there on rides around 30-40 miles.  So I feel good about that but this training is about to go deeper and I am not sure my fragile support system will allow an increased effort to survive.   But here we go, all prayed up and psyched up, to "lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily besets us and run the race set before me looking to God the author and finisher of my faith"  If I can't do that, I won't make it. If I can I will have at least a chance of making it on race day.  So, if nothing else comes of this it will be some focus practice and some laying aside workouts.

Week 18 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Lacing Up

So fragile is life. Our plans, hopes, and dreams can get derailed in a moment.  In my opinion, we all know that, but the fragile nature of plans and life is not fully taken in until it lands in your lap. That is why training long term like for an ironman can be such a tenuous enterprise.  All the work and planning can just go up in smoke seemingly in a moment.  Then all the effort comes to naught.  Or does it?

Perhaps the fragility of it all, and the overcoming that has to be done just to get the training in, is part of the ironman experience itself.  Of the people who line up, who doesn't have an overcoming story of some sort in getting there?

I had a fair week of training, but mentally I seem to be on the ropes getting the stuffing beat out of me at the time.  They say just keep putting one foot ahead of the other and keep moving forward.  But so much has come against me that my feet seem to be rebelling and don't want to move.  Why?  My feet seem to say.  And there it is, the ironman question we must all answer for ourselves.  As for me, I got myself all prayed up and I'm lacing up my shoes for a run.

Week 17 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Blessed

Last week was OK; not great, not stinko, but a good plodding forward OK.  In plodding forward it is pretty quiet.  There are no cheering sections on my roads when I run or alongside my bike as I pedal.  In fact, my ironman journey is not a subject of conversation at all among family and friends, that is, except my number one fan:  my wife.  Most of the time I don't even take notice that my cheering section is quite silent or the absence of motivation or inspiration from other people.  I have grown accustomed to it as I would bet, they have grown accustomed over the year to my training for an ironman.  Understandably I can see how ironman has lost its value as a conversational piece.  ( The striving and failing at Ironman so many times will be in my book - A Day Unlike Any Other Day - coming out soon.)

And too, at my age, the people I used to be involved in athletic pursuits with have grown too old, become disabled, or died.  These people were not replaced and that was my choice.  It was my choice to live and train in by myself in a non-athletic environment.  Most people I know and am associated with have only a vague notion of what an ironman is.  Perhaps they have generally assumed that I have a mental problem but I am not dangerous so I can be tolerated well.

So my reflection - as I enter the 18th week of my training - is a realization of how alone I am in all this except for my wife and God.  My how things have changed; how I have changed; how motives, goals, and purposes have evolved. Growing older does have its advantages; there is so much you can leave behind that you once thought vital. And I find that at the end of the day what remains is love:  the love of my wife as she totally loves and supports me in this with genuine heartfelt cheers and inspiration.  I am blessed.  And undergirding this entire effort and every step in the journey is God; the "wind beneath my wings." His love and support are genuine, total, and sustaining.  I am blessed.

Week # 16 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - The Opportunity to Try

It was a pretty good week. I am feeling strong sometimes out there and there is a sort of rhythm to it sometimes that I haven't felt in a while.  Am I afraid to get positive on this?  Am I going to insist of worrying over my many weaknesses and possible pitfalls or am I going to take the risk of going all-in for the positive; all in and let God be my strength and let God do damage control if there is serious damage.  Like the saying; "Let go and let God."

Perhaps I am not any braver than I ever was but just more dependent and reliant upon God.  I hope so and that I am not going through a temporary thing of high times in good times.   Time is passing quickly to the event and there is a quickening of the heart when I count the days until.  Yes, I am scared but at present, I am smiling at the prospect that I would line up for that event.  Thanks God for the opportunity to try.

Week #15 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020- Bouncing Back

  Last week I finally took two days off in a row:  a real revelation for me.  Overall weekly training hours weres only down 1 hour on the average so I guess I bounced back well.   Bouncing back; I guess that is the only physical gift God gave me; to just getting up off the floor and try to fight one more round; that is all I have got to go with.  When that plays out I am out of bullets.

But time is passing quickly and I need to ramp up and get serious or get off this ride. I want to ride a while longer.  As I write this both legs are tender with soreness from a couple of great bike rides in some great weather.  There is a sort of satisfaction in that if that makes any sense.  When I get up from the chair and it hurts a bit, I know I fought the good fight today.  I sense God is pleased with my effort as well, and that makes it all the more worthwhile to go at it this week, to "run the race set before me."

Week #14 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - For Another Day Unlike Any Other Day

Last week was a sort of stagger through my training.  Giving up completely crossed my mind a couple times last week.  So many conflicting issues crowd out my time and focus.  It seems so many people want a part of me and at the same time, no one appears to be aware of what I am doing.  Strange contradiction, I know, and sometimes I feel like a secret agent for Ironman or something, with my identity in hiding.  : )

Too, I am getting very tired. Legs are sore a lot and days off - 2 in the last 75 days and one of those was an outside workday- have been minimal.   It seems I am the author of my own book of self-destruction.   And, my book on my ironman failures has made very little progress.  Reading about my ironman effort over 2 years ago always inspires me. So, with the lack of support from anyone except my wife, perhaps I should pursue the writing of my small book, A DAY UNLIKE ANY OTHER DAY.  Then maybe I can prepare myself for another experience, another day unlike any other day.  God help me with this.

https://www.ironman.com/triathlon/events/americas/ironman/texas.aspx#/axzz65BCN49ML

Ironman Texas 2020

13th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - I Still Believe in Miracles

Last week was not that bad as I got my long bike and my long run done on consecutive days.  I felt it later but it felt good while doing it and I still feel good about just getting that done.  Sure it is nothing like the training to come but every day I get out there and do what I have for the day; I take that one more step toward the event. When I consider my age (75), my own disabilities and my lack of talent and all the present illnesses and disabilities of several friends and family, then I begin to believe more and more that each day I succeed is a miracle.

Tomorrow I will have to do my long ride on the indoor trainer:  tough duty.  For me it is hard to stay on an indoor training for several hours, cranking away. So, when I step on I will be looking for my miracle of the day to get me through.

Like I said in the last post; I intend to take one day at a time until I finish the event in April 2020 or the miracles stop and I can't go on. God knows  I am in way over my head. It will take a miracle of sorts every day.    But, I still believe in miracles.

12th Week - Training For Ironman Texas 2020 - Six Months Until

The weeks have passed quickly and it seems I have not made too much progress.  But, I guess I have achieved the goals I set for this period.  My impatience raises its ugly head and I want to be in complete ironman shape and NOW.

But no matter how bad I want this or how hard and long I have trained, there is huge doubt to be dealt with.  There are medical issues with my wife which we are in the dark about.  The stress has already got into my head with the training. Now, it is doubly hard to get out there and train.  But, I would guess that most ironman participants have gauntlets to run through to get to the starting line. It is part of the journey and I would suppose it is one of the big reasons that completing one of these things is such a personal victory.  

After this next week, it will be six months to game time.  My revised goal is to just take it one day at a time; do the workouts if you can. If I get stopped by these things coming up, then I will have at least had this part of the journey.  So this new ironman plan is much like doing the ironman itself; one step in front of the other until you have to drop out or cross the finish line.  God bless.

11th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Achieving Mediocrity

Again, no great week.  It seems like sometimes my training is missile locked on mediocrity.  Am I getting good at being and doing just enough to say I am training for Ironman Texas, yet not enough to truly prepare for it.?  Sure life gets in the way but it does for everyone who wants this.  

I did get in the long bike and managed the long run although I had to split that into a two-a-day to get it in.  This is more of the "just enough" mode  I seem to be in.  In writing my short book on this training venture, this journey, I have written an alternative ending where I quit this enterprise altogether and move away from ironman pursuit.  Right now with motivation in the toilet, that alternative ending seems might inviting to live out.

So, for the time being, I will just go on and see if this smoldering wet wood might eventually my somehow ignite into a flame.  That would be my first choice and my prayer.

Week 10 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020- 10 Weeks Done-Fire and Rain

As the song says, "I've seen fire and I've seen rain."  During this first 10 weeks of Ironman Texas training, I have sweltered in the heat and yesterday had to deal with dust and now rain and cold. I have bonked at the pool because the water was so hot and chilled in the same pool yesterday because the water was so cold. Through these 10 weeks, I have logged 206 running miles, 1114 biking miles, and over 11 swimming miles; all not great but incrementally a step up from the weeks previous to the training start.  It has been a good run of it.  I am blessed.  No matter how this turns out
"I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now."

What's next?  A step up in volume as I  wander off into areas more out of my comfort zone. The true testing of my will, and my spirit, and ultimately my faith, are yet to come.  But there is a wry smile on my lips and I just have this great feeling that no matter how it fleshes out: God is saying "face it. I am with you."

9th Training Week-Ironman Texas 2020

God must know I need an arrogance reducer built into my life as He seems to put enough disappointments in there to keep me humble. That tells me He knows I could never be humble without His help. Over the years I have come to find out there is not much else I can do without His help.  Yeah, this was not a great week.  I didn't get in the long bike or the long run, though I trained some every day. Got a couple of good swims in though.  That made the week seem much better and if I don't think about how long and hard the actual event is going to be, then I  can get excited that things -overall - are going pretty good.

The week started slowly and never really gained traction. It could be that  I haven't had a complete day off in a month and a half.  That could be a little severe for a 75-year-old.  It doesn't feel too severe right now. But over time, it might become cumulative fatigue that could be hard to get rid of.
So, perhaps I need to factor in a day off soon.  Perhaps, I need to pray for direction instead of trying to determine it on my own.  From experience, I know:  His directions will work better.

8th Training Week - Ironman Texas 2020 - Up Is Where My Hope Is

It was a week of benchmarks.  This last week I had my longest run of the year, the biggest week in hours of the year, and my longest swim of the year. There seems to have been some stepping up in fitness recently.  I am blessed by it.  And, this blessing is part of the journey.

It is not a given that there will ever be another journey and I intend to be extra sensitive to all the ups and downs and truly savor the little and big things from this experience. There is a peace in it all this experience that hasn't been here before as if to say, if I were to die now, it would be with a contented smile.   I am so richly blessed in that I can acutely sense God's presence in this endeavor and have truly reached that point where I can say "nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done," and mean it.

Oh, it will get scary at times around the corner.  I know that.  But that makes me smile too.  There is a line from a song that says, "when it's scary, don't look down."  No, look up.  Up is where my Hope is.

(Age 75, Eating Plant-Based  (no animal, no eggs, no dairy) for over 3 years now)

7th Week Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Be Not Afraid, Only Believe

This last week wasn't that bad.  It wasn't a great week but one to be satisfied with.  I got my long bike and long run in and the rest of the weeks training fell into place. And, that place I am at, overall, it is a good one.  However, there are times when I consider ramping up my training and I the look at the training plan and think my goodness:  in over my head.   Then I think of the race distances and of moving forward for almost 17 hours and gracious, I feel small and fearful.

This morning, I read a scripture that spoke to me about some of those timid times I had last week -Mark 5:35- Be not afraid, only believe.  Yes, be not afraid.  God's got this.  I am 75 years old and don't have that much to lose anyway, so be not afraid.  This journey could be painful, but so is illness and arthritis and other aged related pains.   Why would  I think I won't ever have to face pain down if I back off from this ironman?  Can one really avoid the eventuality of pain in life? Ever?

Perhaps, life is more about how you bear your pain and what you bear your pain for - pain with a purpose.  My purpose is to honor and glorify God in my effort and for that, I will bear the pain; the pain in the body, the pain of possibly more disappointment, the pain perhaps of not finishing yet again - whatever- but pain with a purpose.  I don't know how all this will flesh out but my job is just to "be not afraid, only believe."  I believe.

6th Week- Training Ironman Texas 2020- Failed Restraint

Taking it easy has never been easy.  I tried and failed a bit at that this past week.  It was supposed to be a much lighter week for a bit of recovery before more ramping up.  But, after 3-4 days of that, I wanted to turn all the horses loose.  My son and I did a bike ride together on his birthday.  It was supposed to be a recovery ride. It was and wasn't one.   There were times it all got loose and I had to rein myself in.  I told my son that restraint is difficult sometimes, but necessary.  Such is life. There is a time for everything under the sun.   Surely after years of this philosophical bike riding with me, he wouldn't want to ride with me much anymore.  He is a glutton for punishment, I guess.

Win or lose at this Ironman business, I am enjoying this journey;  like when I was riding with my son, feeling great on a downhill, standing up, not pedaling, the wind pouring across my body.  I thought, no, there is no place on earth I would rather be; no other person I would rather be.  I am a child of God on an arduous yet beautiful journey.

(Age 75, Eating Plant-Based  (no animal, no eggs, no dairy) for over 3 years now)

5th Week Ironman Training - The Good and Bad

Another good and bad week as some days were right on target and others were much less than hoped for. Isn't that so much like life?  Life is ebb and flow, ebb and flow, but the key seems to be:  keep moving; keep stepping forward though you may have taken a few steps back.  Otherwise, life is one spent in full retreat from what God has called us to do and be.

So my prayer for this week is:

Oh God, keep me on course, on point, and in focus on this journey.  Make my way bright and clear.  In the dark times, make Yourself so known that I might see the Light to follow out of the pit.  Hold me close.  I will be lost without You.  I am lost without You.  Amen

4th Week - Ironman Texas 2020 Training - A Look Up

 Most of my workouts were done this week and I feel pretty good about that.  Health is good and there are no serious injuries right now.  That is, if you don't count my bum knee and if you don't consider that I have to be careful not to fall down when I first get out of bed. As I do my nursing home shuffle to the bathroom in the morning, I always think:  Ironman?  Come on now.  Who are you trying to kid?  Every day - you might say - starts with serious disbelief.

Yesterday, I got that same doubt when I considered my abilities and the enormity of the task and told my wife that chances are that I won't make this training.  She was disappointed to hear me say that.  Then we went to church and guess what the sermon was about:  not giving up; not having doubts about what God called one out to do.  My side is still sore from my wife giving me the elbow every time the preacher made a point that stomped all over my weak and whiney attitude.  It was like I had been ambushed and told to look up when doubts and fears seem to control.  Yes, look up, praise God, "feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death."

Third Week - Ironman Texas 2020 Training - Need Help Here.

This third week was a struggle as well.  Only a last 4 days of bearing down salvaged the week from a complete disaster.  This does not look good for the home team.  The heat and humidity are killers for sure but I wonder if that could be partly an excuse for poor performance when the fact could be that I am too old and over the hill for this game any longer.

But, I go on just trying to put down one day at a time of the training.  One day at a time; one step after another: this is like the ironman itself.  Trying to put discipline to this life isn't easy and I guess it that way for everyone to some degree.  Got to bury myself in the thought that if I do my best then whatever.  That is like a free fall into faith.  Need help on this one God.

Miles of the Journey: Second Training Week- Ironman Texas - Not So Good

Miles of the Journey: Second Training Week- Ironman Texas - Not So Good: The answer to another week as good as the first one was no. Fatigue in this heat wrung me out and I felt I needed a day off after 2 months o...

Second Training Week- Ironman Texas - Not So Good

The answer to another week as good as the first one was no. Fatigue in this heat wrung me out and I felt I needed a day off after 2 months of training some every day.  The second week could be called a stagger.  I did the best I could with the body and mind I had to work with but it wasn't a great week.

Years of this have taught not to believe the present is permanent, whether it be good or bad.  Whatever; it will change. Years of this have taught me to be ready for the downturns and don't lose hope and focus.  Years of this have taught me to relish and absorb the hope and joy when things are really great.  These will make your umbrella for the rains of doubt, fear, and fatigue which are sure to come.
Basically, in the balance, it is about not feeding the doubts and watering the hopes.  There is a grin as I write this and I can know my ship is still aright, and my hope is secure.  Praise God.

(Age 75, Eating Plant-Based  (no animal, no eggs, no dairy) for over 3 years now)

First Week - Ironman Texas Training - Done

It went well.  The heat was abysmal, especially for the runs.  Workout costs in cooling oneself went way up. The swim wasn't great but I got through it without bonking which is a first in 4 attempts in the hot water.  Bottom line:  I am dealing with it and overcoming:  overcoming my age, overcoming the heat, overcoming the lure of doing something else at the time. I have kept my eye on the prize and I am happy and grateful.  God seems close and I think that is perhaps the prime mover in my personal success.

                                            Now Lord, may I have another week like that?

At 75 - Praise God, Hope Hasn't Aged - The First Day

  My first day of  the journey to Ironman Texas 

Praise  God for the Purpose and the Hope to Start

Nurture the Will, Build the Courage, Overcome the Doubts of the Lesser Self

See the Vision, Take It All In

Maintain the Discipline--Train Day After Day, After Day

And Finally, On That Special Day - Pray Hard, Breathe Deeply,

Savor the Moments - Embrace the Risks

Be Thankful

And

Get In the Water At Ironman Texas 2020

My Blessing: The Opportunity to Hope

Thursday, August 1, 2019

My Blessing: The Opportunity to Hope

It is hard to believe I have been at this ironman business for so long and harder still to believe that I would be going at it again.  It is sort of like the remake of an old movie over and over yet each time, something is a bit different.  Each time it seems, I have found a new way to fail.    This time the same enthusiasm is there along with the same fear, yet this time,  the fear is more subdued.  This time there is a quiet confidence cooking here that I haven't had before. Perhaps it is due to a close feeling with God, that seems to pervade my spirit more than ever.   Not that I haven’t felt close to Him in the past, but through my failures, I suppose,  our relationship has grown and is growing richer still than I could have imagined it could be.   I am in a good place all the way around.

Today I am working on my training plan which should start in about 4 days. In a way it like packing to go on a trip;  an adventure in faith.  For those who don’t know this is an event consisting of a 2.4-mile swim, followed by a 112-mile bike, followed by a full marathon (26.2 miles) within 17 hours.   To prepare for this the training is going to be really hard.  The event will be really hard, but I know how great the reward and I feel ready to pay the price whether I succeed or fail.

There will be some giving up involved:  giving up leisure coffee most mornings with my wife; giving up staying up to watch a movie or reading; giving up a lot of fun, outside work here on my place, and so many other little things that will have to be set aside until.  But I think I am ready for a bit of self-denial.  I think I need the plan and the discipline enforced by the faith in my calling.  I will hope and pray to give a good accounting of myself before God.

God has given me this opportunity to hope if only for today.  I am thankful for that and my prayer is that I will be allowed to finish this and see the tears flow down my wife's face, feel her hug, and hear in my heart words from God:  "well done my good and faithful servant." 

The Open Door

Back pain, sometimes spasms seeming coming from out of nowhere, Now with  5 days of this under my belt,  I am sick of it. But there is a lesson here even in bothersome back pains if one pays attention.   When I got through feeling sorry for myself because I  just didn't feel perfect, I got to realize how many people must live in pain like this and much worse daily; moment to moment with not much hope of relief.   And in this realization, I got to feeling a bit ashamed.  I still have health and strength enough to be training, riding, running.  Yesterday, I did a good swim in open water.  Sometimes in our self-absorption, we seem to see life through a keyhole.  When we stop lowering ourselves to look through our keyhole at life, we can stand firmly and open the door.  We can see life in its totality and our place in it through the open door.

The Turnaround Will Be OK

My ribs still hurt from that turnaround bike crash and  I was on that same course yesterday.  It wasn't the same turnaround but it was a turnaround that brought fear.  Memories and present pain, warned me of what could happen and as I approached the turnaround. I could feel the shakiness and insecurity making it more likely I would fall in my fears.

"Help me here Lord."  "Help me here Jesus"

I keep repeating that in my mind and my prayer became reality.  The turnaround went safely; no problem.

This morning the ribs seem to hurt worse and in the long term, I wonder; I feel insecure in that here I am again, a confirmed Ironman failure trying this again.  And my ribs hurt.  The moment has obscured my future and at present I believe the pain and lack of ability. I feel inadequate for this task God has called me out to do.

Then I read a devotional  this morning  by Charles Stanley which spoke right at me.

Feeling inadequate is not a sin, but using it as an excuse is. When the Lord challenges you to do something that you feel is beyond your abilities, you have two options. You can focus on Christ and proceed in triumph or focus on yourself and withdraw in defeat.

It's really a matter of faith. God would never ask you to do something without empowering you to accomplish it. This doesn't necessarily mean you will do it perfectly, but each step of obedience is a victory. The alternative is to play it safe, but then you'll miss out on God's best for your life.

It is again, really a matter of  faith.  The turnaround will work out OK. 

Feeding Your Faith II

A large part of this post is from a previous post back in 2015.  Not much of my spirit had changed, it seems.  And I still have that bum knee.

Yesterday my run cut short due to lightning. But, that's OK. My bad knee needed the rest as it is painful at times.  However,  that crack in my armor gives my doubting too much room in my view.   

I like the saying: "Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death." So, to do that, I have to go about setting up conditions to starve the doubts.  You can shut down the fire in a stove by cutting down the air and by shutting down the air to doubts, and not let them breathe. I try not to give doubt thoughts air but instead give air to recalling all the times God has brought me through.  How about the time He saved me out when I barely escaped from a burning vehicle or the time He saved me out when I had some sort of allergic reaction and couldn't breathe; or the time I had hyponatremia a the end of a marathon and thought I was dying.  He brought me through so many trials in life and in numerous endurance experiences, training sessions, and all the other times in life when I could not see my own way through. 

"Feed your faith and your doubts will stave to death"

So, if you see some doubts out there, weak and emaciated,  staggering around choking to death, know that  I succeeded in not giving them air and I am still out there, praise God, still training and feeding my faith well.

It Wasn't My Plan

The battle was over.  Arms were more or less laid down.  Resignation to no more than a half ironman at best had been made.  It was almost good enough. The nagging sense of being unfilled was being dealt with successfully.  I had almost convinced myself.   However ironman, for me,  is like one of those dormant viruses, there just waiting for the right stressors to activate it again.

So it was with ironman. I wasn't going to sign up until:  I got my book by Mike Reilly, Finding My Voice.  As I started reading it, the inspiration, the hopes started bubbling back up to the surface.  I began to get my own voice back; my ironman voice.  Then Ironman Texas this year was held and the social media was full of information and inspiration about the event.  Then there was that email that offered opportunity to sign up before registration opened.  Oh how could  I withstand all this?  Like an alcoholic going off the wagon I stayed up later that night and just went on and took that first drink.  I got weak.  I caved.  I signed up.

God help me.  Of course, I am in way over my head. God help me.  Of course, He will.

Who Am I Listening To

No, I wasn't paying attention making that turn-around and my bike fell over and I land squarely on the back of my ribs. Do I have a broken rib? I am not sure.  But it hurts. But it is getting better slowly.

All this pain and limitation make me cognizant how important capability is.  When I was in good health I had to fight the mind games I played on myself to get out of doing my morning strength and flexibility exercises.  Now, I wish I had the capability to do them all.

And, get this, all of the injury stuff happened within 24 hours of me signing up for Ironman Texas yet again.  Does God want me to stay home or is this part of game plan of evil to thwart what God has called me to try to do?  Who am I listening to?  I think I know and therefore, I am going on.  Something really great must be in store for me at the end of this journey.   That's what I am going with; my story; my song.

God Is Not In This

Several weeks ago I pulled out of the ironman effort.  Health issues were the final straw that broke the camel's back.  Come to find out the health issues weren't that serious but bear consideration under the extremities of ironman efforts right now.

The water at my swimming location was so cold I had to wear a full wetsuit in the pool.  The weather has been so wet and cold that outside bike riding was all but nothing.  The wet conditions had made the trails I run on slick and dangerous to falls.  The county road I used to run on when my trials were wet and slick has been taken over by a pipeline construction project creating bad running conditions there whereas I spent a lot of time on the soggy ditch dodging 18 wheelers going back and forth on that narrow road.  No mas!

Sense and sensibility seems to be coming back.  Right now I am more rested than I have been in many years.  I haven't been afraid of taking days off and sort of broke that spell.  In short, I guess I am getting accustomed to being on an ordinary journey leading the ordinary life expected of me.

Truth is that I am proud of all the recovery; proud of the things I have accomplished since backing off, but I am starting to get tired of trying to jump up high enough to see the world outside of the rut I am in.  Yes, I know God was not in my ironman effort, but I know also He isn't through with me yet. So, I will continue to jump to see what is the over the edge of the rut and  what adventure in faith God has in store for me.

Four Months Later And Still No Wiser

Four months since my last post.  It seems I found myself saying the same thing and just got bored with myself.  I can imagine how the readers felt.  But, here I am on January 5, 2019 talking about ironman training once more.  What's to say?  It is going well, physically.  I am not injured and a lot of the larger workouts have  been done.  But, many have not and I am concerned that I just don't have it anymore; that I can't grind it out like I once did  I look at the hard, long training and think, do I really think I can do this?

I guess  self doubts are the villains of any project, purpose, or goal.  If that is true, it at least proves that I am partially normal.   Tonight I writes while in sweaty shirt from a trainer ride.  Lots of trainer rides.  Just got a wild hair to post on my blog.  Who knows, training delirium, I suppose.  The last post talks of rain, rain, rain.  That was in September and since then what have we had: rain, rain, rain; the wettest year ever here. I have ran on slick and mushy trails at a safe pace that can barely be called movement.  Riding outside is so limited that I go for weeks now without an outdoor ride.

It won't rain always, they say.  But they- whoever they is - say a lot of things that - as they say - ain't necessarily so.