Time After Time, After Time, After Time

 Is there any other good choice but to try?  Doesn't failure to try begin and end with failure already?  Why choose failure without trying first?  Why give up until totally defeated?  My view is that the spirit is broken long before the body is. 

"A man is never defeated until he is defeated in spirit."  Protect the spirit as one of the most vital assets we have for fulfillment.  It must be guarded against from outside influences. You know:  the chicken little, the sky is falling and subsequent  panic crys of the media using any opportunity to scare you into staying tuned until perhaps they can sell you something.  Be careful.  You have the money and they want it.  Besides doomsday prophets out to make a buck, we  must be on guard ourselves  againt naysayers that can  often be  friends and families.  Additionally,  we must be guard against our own laziness and lack of courage and take a stand for hope in our lives. We have to make the choice to be ourselves and refuse to buckle under the surf of that cascading waves of negativativity  the voice of the world sometimes heaps upon us, time after time after time. Negativity won't quit.  We can't either.

And so, time after time after time, after time, we must put our faces into the winds of misfortune and negativity, grit our teeth, look to the heavens and say "NO."  

As an example, time after time, after time, I have failed at my ironman quest. The sky is not just falling, it has fallen on me several times already.  My life is cluttered up and covered with broken sky pieces.  Common sense would say it is time to "stay down." Don't get up to take another beating.  The demons of negativity spotlight all my former failures and whisper in my ear, mercilessly  reminding  me  that I am too old for this.  Their winds of misfortune discourse  blows  hard against the spirit the demons try so hard to break.   

Somehow, from that everpresent Somewhere, I find the Hope within and without. Somehow, I still put my face into those winds, look toward  heaven  between clinched teeth and say "NO."  I will try again. God's still got it. The spirit of Hope is still intact and it will be - time, after time, after time. 

Just One More War

 "You never miss the water until the well runs dry."  Simple.  Homespun, but solid logic. There is so much I miss about my former life.  I miss the war. In Rocky III, the character Apollo Creed said  to Rocky when Rocky talked about it being  time to get civilized.  

"We are the warriors," he told Rocky.  "We don't have a choice."  I indelibly remembered that line the first time I heard it.  It resonated with everything inside me.  It brought me to a more honest self evaluation then, as it does now in reflecting upon it.  

So what does a "warrior" do when the only war to fight is to get to the dentist's office on time or how to correctly wear the face mask?"  I'll tell you what I do during these times:  I simmer inside.  There is a me trying to keep it all stuffed itself inside but I know that sooner or later it will escape.  

At the same time there is a gratitude felt for the culling protocol forced upon me by this extended incarceration.  I have found that  productive and meaningful relationships have deepened while the ones shallower than I thought they were have dropped off the back.  

Another good thing is that now I vividly know that, as Apollo said, "I have no choice."  I have vividly come to realize there is no way I can live with myself other than by being myself.  Being myself won't be normal so I have to give that up.  After reaching 76 years of age you would think by now I would have realized I will never be normal.  Thank God for that. 

Thank God...that's another good thing.  I have grown closer partly because I need Him more to help me navigate through this bog.  I spend a lot of time holding on to  His hand plodding through the heavy muds of this seemingly hopeless and unending swamp.  But He is there as He said He would be, never to  leave me or forsake me.  I smile.  I love that.  

But God, you made me an old warrior.  Free me for the war.  Bring back the ironman for me and in me.  Just one more chance.  Just one more war.  

Preface Thoughts on a Triathlon Life

This is the preface of the book I just put together containing words and photos on each of the 53 triathlons I have done.  It is more or less written for myself - but.

My Triathlon Life in Words and Pictures

 

 Probably this work will mean little to anyone other than myself and perhaps a few family members. That’s OK.  These photos were collected, and events recalled so that in a hazier future, I might revisit and relive these moments of challenges and experience.  And, who knows?  There is always the chance that someone might read this and become inspired to go on and pursue whatever it is that lights their fire.

 

My story started with running.   As a lifelong asthmatic, I had the benefit of being able to amaze myself when I began to be able to run and breathe at the same time.  The amazement grew and grew, and my athletic achievements blossomed with the blessing of being able to do marathons.  Amazing I thought; as good as gets; the end game.  But God had something more.

 

One day photos in a magazine of fit, body- marked triathletes caught my eye.   They looked a little more "peaked out" than I felt like I was.  Intrigued, I read about what they did and how they trained.  A vision was born.   I knew I wanted some of that, someday.   I did not know how to swim distances nor was I familiar with the bike, but something inside wanted to one day be counted among those that get body marked.   

Praise God, I have lived almost all that dream.  Only the full Ironman distance has eluded me.  Perhaps, this is my “thorn in the flesh” put into my life to keep me humble?

 

So, in humble gratitude to God, I submit these stories and photos of a life well-lived.   When this is all over, I can look back and see that I did the work, paid the price to live the life I would have imagined for myself:  I have been body-marked.  I am a triathlete.  Praise God for it.

 

Rolling With the Punches

 Soon to be  two weeks into this knee problem following another fall while running on these trails here.

I landed on that bad knee I have fallen on, probably, a dozen or more times.  The knee cap is covered in scar tissue and the knee joint is misshapen from previous falls. Doctors said that knee was done over ten years ago.  At the moment it looks like they may be finally right.  Took them a while.  It was pretty humiliating having to use a walker to get to the bathroom.  Maybe this time the knee has said, "enough."  

Of course getting a new bike trainer with live participatory video didn't help the healing.  I couldn't stand up on the hills and grinding them out all sitting really punishes that knee.  But it is so much fun!  And, I think that smiling in pain, finding joy amidst the disappointment, seeing something to hope for in the presence of dreams dying, all are what God wants of me.  "I can do all things through Him that strengthens me," is not just a rah-rah, "you can  do it" motivational moment verse. Hard times play hard ball and sometimes God says, "roll with the punches.  Through Me you can take this."  

I took the weekend off completely except for some wood cutting Saturday morning.  That hurt the knee a bit  but the rest is making it better.  Heal and hope is my agenda. If my knee doesn't come back and my running days are over;  well then, "I can do that too - through Him that strengthens me.

Because, There is God

A new month but no relief from the uncertainty,  The pandemic goes on, events keep getting cancelled, gatherings are limited, relationships grow distant or become  relegated to  electronic intimacy.  And we are called upon now to exercise all the resiliency we are capable of.  All of our strength of character will be required.  All  we might have learned from enduring in marathons or ironman events must now be brought to bear as weapons of war against this foe.

Is there even going to be any ironman events or triathlons in the future or is this all there is; a life of distancing, running scared?  Is this a time of enforced realignment, even one of unique opportunity?  Nevertheless----Because, there is God; there is tomorrow.  Because, there is God, there are other roads and journeys to embark upon.  Because there is God there there are new chances and places to   show His love  Because there is God, we can face tomorrow.  Because there is God there is hope; eternal Hope built upon an eternal promise.  Let us prepare for but not fear the future.  Emanuel, God is with us and we don't have to social distance or wear a mask.

The Venues May Be Different But the Race is Still the Same

Exactly a month since my last blog entry.  It is sort of like a winding down to nothing; a road seemingly to nowhere. The Corona Virus has all of us by the throat and it is getting worse.  The heat obviously has no effect on it as some had hoped. Event after event gets cancelled.  Nothing remains safe to look forward to, but yet, we must go on.  The heat and humidity here are oppressive which makes isolation and apathy that much easier to bear.   I would have  hoped for something more vigorous in the last years of my life.

It has given me time to work on my stories and my books I want to publish before I depart.  One book is entitled, Bends in the River depicting  early adventures along a large river and and those influences upon my life embracing nature in all its beauty and power.   One other book is called, A Day Unlike Any Other Day, which follows my triathlon and ironman attempting career to that final day of ultimate testing.  These are complete except for the editing and book design.

I will probably do hard copy and electronic publishing.  What seems interesting to me at least is the vast distances in those two subjects.  Digging deeper it might be said that there aren't that many differences at all.  The venues may different but the race is still the same for the participant.
So, it seems I have dramatically changed but in essence, remained the same.  I hope that makes sense as I hope these books do.  At this stage of life as I embrace the nearness of my  eternal future  in the presence of an uncertain,  foreboding future, on this earth, I feel closer to myself and to God in writing and editing them.    If for no other reason experiencing this peace within the storm  is all worth it.  It has been worth it all along.

Days of the Dead Zone

Almost a month since I posted.  So much negative has gone on.  There is so much anger, resentment and lack of understanding that a goal like an event just withers on the vine.  This are the days of the dead zone.  Even prayer is getting harder to accomplish and of course I wonder how God can let us get like this.  But, I come to realize we came to this on our own without putting God in the equation.

And of course this is the time of the sweltering summer heat which beats me down every year at this time.  To make it worse my bum knee started swelling up, acting up, making my running in the dog days of summer painful with almost every step.  Then looking at all the cancelled events there is no clear path to participate again; to train for again.

It reminds me of the time we were anchored in a cut just off the Gulf of Mexico, far away from anything.  We were sleeping in our boat when in the middle of the night a storm came in .  Our puny anchor was being dragged mercilessly and we were being pushed out to see by the wind.  There was no other real choice but to start the motor and try to find our way back to shore in the dark and pouring rain.  What a wake up that was.

Right now me and my anchor are dragging  but now I am fully awake, awake enough to  have faith that God  has  got this in spite of the storm.  We are not so far out to sea that He can't show us the way back even in the dark and pouring  His motor will start. Though it might look grim, I know that whatever happens, come morning, I will find myself safely on His shore.

Maybe, Just Maybe

Sunday morning and the rain is over for the time being and the sun is out.  There is hope even in the storms.  Yesterday, I ran for an hour and a half on muddy roads in a pouring rain.  It should have been a misery but it wasn't.  There was something of a peace from knowing I was overcoming.  No-matter-what was being faced down out there and I was winning.

And today, as I smile in satisfaction about yesterday, I think that maybe that is the way it is going to be in completing an ironman. Completing an ironman?  Haven't I heard the news?  Can't I understand that ironman is done for me.  By the time they get a handle on this virus thing, I will be so old they will have to start an antique age group for me.  Maybe I am too old already.  Maybe there won't even be any more ironman events except virtual ones, with no rain, wind, and muddy roads to overcome?  Maybe the conquest of yesterday has no bearing on the performance of tomorrow?

Just maybe.  Maybe is the hope, however slim its chances of fruition. Maybe gets me out there to hang on to that small thread that maybe, just maybe God has a plan for this; a plan for me to run in the rain on muddy roads and be thankful for it.

Fuzzy Future - Really ?

With all this quarantine stuff  my little world of doing endurance sports has a fuzzy future.  Who knows but that the old style of social interaction at these events will ever be the same.  Will it be worthwhile for what I want out of it?  This future is uncertain.  Our view ahead indistinct: a fuzzy future in my eyes but not for God.  God has got this and I have to believe that however the big world turns out; how my little world ends up, it is well.  This isn't the end of the story whatever happens; it is well with my soul.  

A  piece of  a devotion by Max Lucado speaks so well to this:

Here’s what you tell yourself: “I’m still God’s child.  My life is more than this life.  These days are a vapor, a passing breeze.  This will eventually pass.  God will make something good of this.  I will work hard, stay faithful, and trust Him no matter what.”

Choose to heed the call of God on your life.  You are God’s child.  Your life is more than this life, more than this broken heart, more than this difficult time.  God won’t break a promise. You will get through this!

MaxLucado. com 

Fear Not

There is a saying that those who fail to plan, plan to fail. But sometimes even the planned can fail, can't it?  Take the pandemic for instance. Who could have planned for that entirely.  In the poker game of life, plan all you can but you still have to play the hand that is dealt you.  How you do that determines whether you succeed or not. 

So, I can plan to play the hand I have been dealt and play it well.  O don't plan to fail, but if I do hit a snag, failure isn't final with God.  In fact, many times it is just the starting line for more than one could dream of.  

What does that mean?  It means I am going to train for a half ironman event which may or may not occur.  I will train without actually paying for the entry until there is surety, and if not, I will do a half ironman here on my place in the country.  The same will apply with doing the ironman next spring.  The only drawback would be the races filling up and I wouldn't be able to enter.  However,  under the present set of circumstances, I can't see that happening.  But it could and I have planned for that too:  if the events fill up, I can still do my event here.  

Man is never defeated until defeated in spirit.  And there are times I get down on recent events and how they cloud the future.  But my Father is with me in all this and two words scattered throughout the Bible are "Fear Not."

What I Missed----------What I Miss

What I Missed---Ironman Texas 2020 : I would be getting a little antsy about now. My wife would be summoning all her patience and understanding for my mood altered behaviors. I would be working on a high rev about now; checking, double checking, lists, reminders, what ifs and all the good stuff. I would doubt I did enough training. I would fear I had done too much this close to the race. I would review again the nutrition plan and review again the plan for all that had to be done and when. I would obsess unnecessarily, I know but that is part of the bang for the buck for me. Tomorrow I would be planning to leave Thursday morning and would start to be scared in a wonderful way. I would fear what could happen yet yearn for the start when all becomes settled and purpose and a peace pervades.

Thrilled at the Dawn

The light is still burning.  No matter what has happened in the past I feel the dawn rising in my heart, bring light to corners dark with the disappointments of the past couple of months.  God must not consider me too old to dream, to be thrilled with a new dawn of hope.  After all, God is the author and finisher of faith and I think hope as well.   And, He has placed dawn within my heart here recently though I am not sure how it will flesh out.  This is sort of the dawn of an unplanned day.  I am truly getting excited as I feel this urging on within though I don't know where it is urging me to.

The beauty of it is it doesn't matter because God is setting this up and whatever that may be it will be exciting and fulfilling.  God knows I love that and  I am His child.  I do get the sense that it will be something to do in endurance sports though right now that doesn't look promising with the coronavirus causing so much havoc with our society and the world.

It's ok.  Walking by faith not by sight; thrilled at the dawn.

Miles of the Journey: Week 30 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Wounde...

Miles of the Journey: Week 30 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Wounde...: The Coronavirus thing has really gotten scary for us old folks.  Several large events have already been cancelled and I would not be surpris...

Week 30 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Wounded - The End of this Dream

The Coronavirus thing has really gotten scary for us old folks.  Several large events have already been cancelled and I would not be surprised if Ironman Texas will be cancelled as well. Regardless of what the rest of the world does and think,  my wife and I don't feel good about being in an international crowd at our advanced age.  And, given the compromised immune system  one usually gets from taking  the body farther than it wants to go, it wouldn't be a good time to be in crowds.

This came in this afternoon March 13, 2020 - At this time, we can confirm that the 2020 IRONMAN Texas triathlon will not take place as planned on April 25, 2020. We are working diligently to secure venues and a new race date for the IRONMAN Texas triathlon. 

My Ironman dream is over, and who knows if it will ever to come to life again. Right now it seems doubtful that I have another one of these training regimens in me.   This part of life seems to be leaving the station without me.  I did the best I could, and gave it to God. He said, "No."

So now with no journey I am scattered and drifting.  Maybe it is time to let go and drift downriver for a few moments and  just savor all the great days of the journey;  all  the triumphs and all the disappointing workouts which blended  together made the canvas of this painting so beautiful.  Not many people get to live like I have the past few years, especially at this age. Adding it all up over my seven plus months of training I find I have ran 665 miles, biked 4031, and swam 31.  A lot of hard work for an old relic.  Sure I am   severely disappointed but,  after  all the Miles of the Journey,  I find myself stronger - physically and mentally  and  more resilient, more accepting of myself and others, more grateful to God for the revelations that can only be learned by failure and disappointment.   Within me the Miles of the Journey seem to have left a heightened awarenss  of what are the  truly important things in life.

This is not to say that dropping out  is all sunshine and rainbows:  no, not at all.   Something I want bad enough, I have usually achieved.  So, learning to live with the failure and frustration of  giving my best effort and still not being able to quite make the reach will haunt me for a while.  Recovery will involve  learning  to live  wounded to a certain degree for a time.   But lots of people learn to live with things that don't work out  and so can I. Maybe that is one of the lessons.  After all, I AM an IRONMAN.  I just never got to prove it at an event.   And, even if I had known the ending in the beginning, I would do it all over again.  I am blessed.

 Thank you readers for following these wonderful Miles of the Journey. God bless you.

Week 29 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Facing Forward

It is getting so close it is scary.  I feel so unprepared but as I look back at my records I have laid down a lot of miles biking and running.  And, I have been doggedly consistent.  My goodness, I have been solid on this journey, now into its 30th week.  Before that, I was no slouch with training consistency either. The records show this.

So what am I scared of so much?  Sure, my long bikes have not materialized.  The longest bike is 75 miles.  But is that really enough to ignore the journey I have been on?  Perhaps it is that I have invested myself into this effort so much that I fear it all come to nothing yet again.   Perhaps, I would rather just walk away than to let all that effort and consistency come to nothing.   I just don't want to take the chance.  There it is.  I am afraid of using and losing what I have built.  There is such a history of failure for me with ironman efforts and I just can't seem to put that down to run the race set before me like God has asked me to.  

So, tonight in my prayers I will ask for the courage to face forward the task set before me and let God control the outcome and receive the glory.

28th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Revelations and Relationships

Ironman training is supposed to be a journey; perhaps a journey of discovery.  Sometimes I forget that and overlook or minimize the satisfying steps along the way.  Sometimes it is just the make-you - smile experiences that evolve into reality over time, along the journey that gives it a certain sweetness.

Through running here on these often bad roads, I have gotten to know a lot of people who can't resist the impulse to stop and talk to this crazy old man out slip-sliding in the mud.  Who knows the positive influence something that out of the ordinary around here makes on someone.  Also, I have gotten to know the dogs around here very well.  They all know now how to sit before I give them treats.  One has learned to roll-over for me.  Some who formerly barked vigorously at me, now sit patiently at the end of their driveway and wait for me to get there and give me glad-to-see-you tail wags.

There are other benefits of the Miles of the Journey.  I can tell I have changed a bit myself and I can sense it is for the better; a better me.  The hardships, the struggles, the consuming fatigue have taken me down past a lot of pride and helped to make me more accepting; yet more discerning; less afraid to let things and people go; more determined and committed to be myself warts and all, affirming I am working on the warts.

This past week of training, was nothing special but consistent. God has been good to me in the revelations and relationships along the Miles of the Journey.

27th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Burning the Bridges

Ironman training has always been revealing.  All it takes is a few months of trying to exert discipline on your lifestyle and you know how vulnerable you are to being steered aside from the path you thought you chose.

Given that, I can see how hard it would be to truly motivate and coach others to a better life result when you can't do that for yourself.  End game is humility and yet another lesson from ironman training.

Last week I did OK but failed to get that long bike ride or that long run.  Oh, the hours and the miles were good but the long stuff I must have run away from. Excuses? Yeah, got quite a few:  the weather was bad; I have to run on dirt and often muddy roads; I have a 30-45 minute drive for an outside ride if the weather did permit; there was so much admin work to do like taxes; then there were visitors showing up unannounced, and on and on, wah, wah, wah, boo-hoo-hoo and so on.

This week started out even worse and time passes until the event: closer, closer still, and I am dwaddling around in nah-nah land with my training.  So, I am going back to my schedule and make myself some bottom limits or performance.  If I don't do above that this next week.  I am dropping out of Ironman Texas.  I need to burn my bridges behind me and leave no other choice than to fight the good fight.  I think God expects no less.

26th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Whatever Happens

Last week was not bad; not great but good enough to be somewhat satisfying in the effort I made.
Consistency is doing really well in my plan but whether that translates into a good performance on race day or not; who knows?  But I get really tired and am not sure I am in way over my head on this one.  Sometimes, no, lots of times, I want to chunk this whole game, take my marbles and go home. In fact, these times come so frequently that I wonder if I still have the motivation to go through all this. And,  I keep asking myself  "why."  Does God really want me to keep on with this?  Lots of times I am not sure.

But too, I am so tired all the time. I can sleep almost anywhere at any time.  This is the journey I signed up for.   In the midst of getting all beat up physically and fatigued to a vegetative state mentally, I still can remember and still find the strength to just keep putting one day after another; one week after another into this training.  Who knows what will come out the other side.  I guess I will leave that to God and walk by faith not by sight right now.  Whatever happens, that will take me home.

25th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Particpant List Acid Reflux

Today the participant list for Ironman Texas came out.  It is not certain why this excites me.  But it does.  According to my calculations, I am the second to oldest participant this year.  There is an 80-year-old signed.  God bless this man.   There are so few of us still doing this at advanced ages.  I counted 11 other men in the 70-74 age group.  

It is great to have something like this.  There are lots of people my age that doesn't seem to have much to get up for anymore and I see that as a shame.  And, it makes me grateful for my own quest, however it turns out. Through my faith in God who brought me my zeal for endurance sports, I have seemed to have sidestepped the quicksands of despair that can be prevalent in these later paths. 

As I reviewed the list of participants and thought of the event and all it entailed and required, I got a light case of acid reflux.  There is only one other participant in my age group.  If I could but just finish this bad boy,  I might qualify to go to Kona for the World Championship.   All of this is frivolous, of course.  In a few years, all this will be "scattered by the swirling winds of time."  All will be gone except God.  But,  I could not but help but smile at myself; the perpetual child, it seems;  blessed by it all and blessed to be a child of God.

24th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Revealing the Ironman

The last three weeks are the best group of weeks yet in my ironman training. My legs feel it.  My body and mind are fatigued like I have only experienced in endurance sports training.  I can say that I really don't know what is holding me up.  But that is not entirely true.  I just don't know how I am being held up to all this.  Truth is,  it is not a what is holding me up but a Who.

There may come a time in this journey when I can no longer go on.  Right now,   I am being taken farther and deeper into the abyss. If I come out the other side to the event:  great.  If I go as far as I can and it is not far enough to make the event;  I will be OK.  This journey itself is worth the effort.  The "going up is worth the coming down."  The very least I will get out of this journey is a sense of my own limitations.

In these 24 weeks, I have been taken farther into this journey already than my own abilities could have taken me.  Perhaps God has been found something in me worthy of bringing out; something only brought out through pain, fatigue, and discomfort.   Maybe through all this, there is a witness for others to demonstrate what God can do in their lives.  Perhaps we are all fertile fields waiting for the right challenge from God; that we might accept that challenge and push through the journey He has set us upon.  Perhaps, down there somewhere we are all an Ironman needing only the journey to reveal it.

23rd Week - Training For Ironman Texas 2020 - My Wilderness Experience

Last week was probably my best week yet.  I got in the long bike and long run and my best swim in a
while all within 4 days. And, I survived pretty much intact. Yeah, my vision for this ironman endeavor got a wider beam on it. I feel blessed.

Today, I'm doing something strange, that is, I am taking a day off.  I planned it and I am getting it done. I am on a roll.  Tomorrow I try my first HELL DAY.  It starts small as HELL DAYS go.  I swim for an hour, take a 90-minute break, bike for 3 hours, take a 90-minute break then run for an hour.

This is my own training plan I am on.  Who would be qualified to write a training plan for a 76-year-old?  The parameters change a lot with age and besides that, where I am at and where I am going is pretty much-uncharted territory.  A few my age have been here but not many. I love that.

When I bought this land I live on, it was a wilderness in the middle of practically a wilderness. The nearest neighbor was a mile or two away.  I carved this place out of the woods and built a home and roads and had a wilderness experience I still remember with relish. Now everything is built up here and I can see my neighbor not 300 yards away as I write this.

Things change and I seem to be at that wonderful age and ability time when I can traverse the wilderness of old aged training.  But that will change and there will come a time when  I will notice that I am not on a wilderness journey anymore.  Then I will look back with a satisfied grin that however this turns out, I had my wilderness experience in 2020 training for  Ironman Texas

22nd Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Quite the Journey

Weeks tend to go the same.  I hit a lull and training is lacking.  Then I have a few days of putting some good volume down.  Last week was no exception but, in the end, I had a good week in terms of volume. It seems my self-perception about training is generally negative.  It never seems good enough to be called good.

This ironman effort is so self-revealing.  That is, the raw nature of the fatigue that seems to come in on me at times has the effect of allowing me to be brutally honest about myself. Some of the camo about myself gets stripped away and there I lay exposed. And while it seems almost natural at these times to acknowledge my many weaknesses, I must take possession of my own strengths as well. I can see through the fatigue haze that I have come a long way over tough personal terrain, and somehow persevered in spite of my weaknesses.

This is quite the journey.  So many times I want to cave in and lead a normal life and at other times I fear not being on a journey.  This is an adventure in self-discovery and I would imagine I will be on some kind of journey until life's journey itself is over and I have gone to be with God.

The photo -My nephew is a physician with an orthopedic group and he sent me a suit that they had designed and produced

21st Week-Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Cobwebbed Comfort Corner

Momentum- wish I had it.  Can't seem to get going.  "A body in motion tends to stay in motion and a body at rest tends to stay at rest."  The last part, yeah, that's where I am at.  I feel I have rested myself into a deep fatigue.  Motivation lull post-holidays - as much as I tried to avoid taking a hit from the holidays, it looks like I have been wounded and I am bleeding myself into training apathy. There is not much here for a kick start so if I am going to continue with this ironman effort, it will require getting myself out of the cobwebbed comfort corner and get focused.

Last week was mediocre which is pretty good for the training motivation state I am in.  But, mediocre in training is a recipe for a DNF or not showing up at all for the event.  So, here in this blog post, I have beat my lazy self up a bit with good reason. Now, will I go on, or has apathy metastasized to terminate this ironman effort altogether?  So, I will pray for a hand up and for the strength and the will to go on.