An 80 Year Old's Journey Toward Ironman Waco 70.3 Oct 6th - Day 27-28

 Well, I am back in stagger mode, wanting to quit so bad but just can't seem to say, "enough." The long runs and the long outside bike rides seem so daunting to get in and the "want-to" isn't showing up to push me out of the house. 

Probably, there needs to be a date set with certain practices accomplished  for a "yes or no go on" decision.  I guess I am truly in over my head on a personal level in trying to do this.  Do  you suppose I have gotten soft and scared?  My knee always reminds me how fragile this all is. It could go south at any moment. Do you suppose I don't want to invest all this long and hot training for something that stands a better than even chance of blowing up in my face? Or, have I finally gotten old, and know it and feel it but won't admit it? 

Yesterday was more working outside plus an hour on my trainer bike plus a bad boy weight and flexibility session for about 45 minutes.  I  haven't stopped by any stretch but I am staggering and would love to hear from God on this one way or the other.

An 80 Year Old's Journey Toward Ironman Waco 70.3 Oct 6th - Day 26 - What's Up?

 Yesterday I did a 3 hour plus bike trainer ride on Zwift.  That was good for me.  I got faster and stronger as it progressed.  So what's up?  Am I farther along than I give myself credit for?  Plus right before the 3 hour ride, I did the Bad Boy strength and weight session.  That took about an hour.  Not a bad day for an older guy or a younger guy either for that matter.  

It makes me wonder maybe I am running out of excuses to fail.  Today I don't feel too bad and that is surprising too. So what's up?  My nutrition has been pretty good and maybe that adds to the positive mix.    I don't mean to draw a lot of abuse here, but I do eat a plant based diet.    For me that is no meat, dairy, eggs, fish and minimal processed foods and watch the sugar.  I know there are all kinds of allegedly better meat-eating plans out there, but this works beautifully for me.  I don't take medicine of any sort on any regular basis.  I can do most of what I could do at 20.  My thinking seems Ok...but that can be suspect since I don't eat meat.  Got to be crazy, right?  

Mentally, little by little I am coming around to being able to more often let things go and train first.  That's a tough corner for me but I am making the turn, and I can feel that and it feels good. 

 So, this is a positive report for a change.  I still don't see how in the world I am going to make it but I will just have to be content knowing God knows the end of my story. I just have to  let that go and go train.

An 80 Year Old's Journey Toward Ironman Waco 70.3 Oct 6th - Days 24-25

 Got in a swim this afternoon.  1.2 miles  without stopping.  That's race distance.  However, it is a bit slower than times before my year of absence from swimming.  I feel good about it, but I still don't feel good about my chances to get this bike and run training in like I should.  Prayers have been said about this and all that has come out it is that somehow I just can't quit just yet.  

There have been no days off in almost 40 days and that probably why I feel so tapped out all the time.  However, I am not sure I can get  started again if I stop.  That is how it was running marathons.  If I ever walked just once, it was mostly walking from then on. So, it seems that taking a day of has the same results as quitting altogether. So, I would just as soon quit as take a day off.  If I just quit I could go straight to downtime and not pass go, whereas taking a day off would take more time, pain, and effort before I just quit.  Why not take the easy way out if you want out? 

It has been raining all week and next week promises better weather.  The good weather week will tell the tale on my training.  Buti, I will continue to pray .

An 80 Year Old's Journey Toward Ironman Waco 70.3 Oct 6th - Days 22

 My legs are sore from treadmill work. I feel like this is getting the best of me.  Running times for me is a little depressing.  The pace I want to hold is quite taxing.  OK, too old, washed up and done.  So back off and quit.  But I'm not thinking that.  In fact, I'm sort  of angry about it.  Right now, I don't want to quit.  I want to bury myself in workouts and drive the demons from my athletic life. 

I saw a man today that I have known a long time.  We are the same age.  He was so spindly and emaciated that I barely recognized him.  It made me want to try harder not to go there, to spend my last remaining days among the walking wounded.  I want to live until I die so I stay away from doctors and medications as much as I can. I eat a plant-based diet. I do some sort of exercise every day.  Plus, I try to focus on not going down that well-trod mental path for old guys, following the script written by others of what old men should be trying to do.  And I pray to God to give me strength.  I pray and looked toward His peace with it all. That said it's time to get busy and finish the rest of the day's training.  I must go on. Something may be gaining on me.

An 80 Year Old's Journey Toward Ironman Waco 70.3 Oct 6th - Days, 20, 21

 Three weeks and I haven't quit yet.  So much has come against me.  Most of it is other people and outside work responsibilities.  Plus, the heat and humidity melt what resolve I have.  I am tired.  That's it.  It's here.  

It's not like I shouldn't expect this.  Ironman training is not a day at the theme park.  Now I remember how brutal and debilitating this can be.   and I can look back and think "how did I get through all this before?  I am somewhat amazed at my former self. 

Maybe that's it? Maybe I want that picture back I had of myself before. Perhaps, I want amaze myself?  Perhaps I looking for a good reason to admire myself?  There is satisfaction in mowing the grass and getting things done outside but its not self-amazing.   I am old, they say.  Perhaps I am not satisfied with a life of passionless sameness, and low expectations that being this age is supposed to bring with it.  Maybe I am not really that old yet?  Perhaps I still need to make memories of   overcoming days that bring smiles of pleasant reflection, to know that who I was, I still am.  Thank you God

An 80 Year Old's Journey Toward Ironman Waco 70.3 Oct 6th - Day 19

 Still here,   Today we had rain andit was  partly cloudy so I took the chance to work on my septic system.  Lots of digging and pulling, involved, sort of a real-life CrossFit thing.  I did my flex workout before all the digging and when it was all over, a bath and a big meal were in order.   

This whole heat training thing must have me broken down some because I laid out on the floor after the bath and slept like death.   I woke up knowing that  I needed to get in some training for today but the body and mind and spirit joined in open revolt.  Take the day off they screamed.  I almost did.  But then I thought, this is  where endurance really is.   It is in the getting up and facing down the fatigue, and the don't want to that haunts us all at some point.  This is the defining practice of our sport. It is my only gift:  I can take a lot of abuse and usually get up and keep moving forward. That's it. Nothing fancy.   That's all I got.  So, I went about training my only gift.  

Got on my indoor bike and a few hundred pedal strokes sent the doldrums scurrying for cover and I had a great ride.  Thank you, God.

An 80 Year Old's Journey Toward Ironman Waco 70.3 Oct 6th - Day 18

 The heat index here seems to stay over a hundred.  Did I expect any different?  It seems to be taking its toll on my on my runs.  Afterward, I am  just done.  For instance,  after my hour run this morning, when I finally got cool, I was just done.   Maybe 80 is too old for this sport.?  Maybe God is just showing me so I won't question and won't whine about having to give this beast up?  I don't know.  Another day of full realization that I am truly in over my head.  

I got in a short indoor bike ride and did a full body weight, strength, and flexibility session.  So I guess it wasn't too bad.  Truth be said, I really want to quit about now.  I don't know, maybe age 80 makes me war weary and I am ready to settle in with no more wars.  I have been at this endurance sports thing for over 40 years.  

I try not to make any decisions when I am tired or discouraged or haven't prayed about it. There is a consideration to do another half ironman ( Oilman Triathlon  November 10th)  about a month later than Waco 70.3.  It would give me time in cooler weather to prepare and perhaps have a better chance.  It's a thought.  But I am very tired, somewhat discouraged, and haven't  prayed much about it.