Wading ashore, I was exhilarated. The first leg of my half-ironman distance event complete; no problems. I thought of my brother-in-law, fighting cancer and thought to myself, "Johnny, I wish you could see this, feel this." The event was being done in his honor, and it just felt right to wish he were there.
Midway on the bike course on a long uphill spiral, I thought how much this part of the road was like his struggle: long, uphill, lots of turns and switchbacks. When I reached the top, I thought to myself, "This is what I want for you, brother-in-law."
Late on the bike, on a tree shrouded lane, the autumn sun shot beams through the brown tree tops down upon the road. It was beautiful, a beautiful place to be. And I wished Johnny could have been there at that moment to see, revel in the moment, and appreciate.
Despite any honoring I may have done, it made no difference to cancer. Johnny went to meet God about 10:17 AM today. But --- maybe now, Johnny CAN see and appreciate what I could not share with him? Maybe now, he can feel the exuberance of being cancer free, and wading ashore home? Maybe now, he has reached the top of the long spiral climb on his course? And, maybe now, he can feel the blessing and beauty of the tree shrouded road, and see the Son beaming through to rest upon him.
Perhaps he now sees the beauty, and feels the joy I would have liked to have shown and shared with him. It makes me smile when I think he is probably saying, "Marv, all that was really great, and really pretty. But, wait until you get here. You ain't seen nothing yet."
I have shivers - some from your post, but mostly from a 20k training run in 32F weather. Nice words for your brother-in-law. Now, off to a warm shower.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss Marvin. Your post made me think of my favorite line in Forest Gump. When Jennie was on her death bed, and Forest was describing all of the beauty he had seen on his travels, she says something along the line of, "I wish I could have been there with you". To which Forest says, "you were". You not only carried Johnny in your heart and prayers, but he was with you on every one of your adventures.
ReplyDeleteMy deepest sympathy to you and your family for your loss. While I never got to meet Johnny, I am sure that he was a great and inspiring man.
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