Miles of the Journey: Week 30 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Wounde...

Miles of the Journey: Week 30 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Wounde...: The Coronavirus thing has really gotten scary for us old folks.  Several large events have already been cancelled and I would not be surpris...

Week 30 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Wounded - The End of this Dream

The Coronavirus thing has really gotten scary for us old folks.  Several large events have already been cancelled and I would not be surprised if Ironman Texas will be cancelled as well. Regardless of what the rest of the world does and think,  my wife and I don't feel good about being in an international crowd at our advanced age.  And, given the compromised immune system  one usually gets from taking  the body farther than it wants to go, it wouldn't be a good time to be in crowds.

This came in this afternoon March 13, 2020 - At this time, we can confirm that the 2020 IRONMAN Texas triathlon will not take place as planned on April 25, 2020. We are working diligently to secure venues and a new race date for the IRONMAN Texas triathlon. 

My Ironman dream is over, and who knows if it will ever to come to life again. Right now it seems doubtful that I have another one of these training regimens in me.   This part of life seems to be leaving the station without me.  I did the best I could, and gave it to God. He said, "No."

So now with no journey I am scattered and drifting.  Maybe it is time to let go and drift downriver for a few moments and  just savor all the great days of the journey;  all  the triumphs and all the disappointing workouts which blended  together made the canvas of this painting so beautiful.  Not many people get to live like I have the past few years, especially at this age. Adding it all up over my seven plus months of training I find I have ran 665 miles, biked 4031, and swam 31.  A lot of hard work for an old relic.  Sure I am   severely disappointed but,  after  all the Miles of the Journey,  I find myself stronger - physically and mentally  and  more resilient, more accepting of myself and others, more grateful to God for the revelations that can only be learned by failure and disappointment.   Within me the Miles of the Journey seem to have left a heightened awarenss  of what are the  truly important things in life.

This is not to say that dropping out  is all sunshine and rainbows:  no, not at all.   Something I want bad enough, I have usually achieved.  So, learning to live with the failure and frustration of  giving my best effort and still not being able to quite make the reach will haunt me for a while.  Recovery will involve  learning  to live  wounded to a certain degree for a time.   But lots of people learn to live with things that don't work out  and so can I. Maybe that is one of the lessons.  After all, I AM an IRONMAN.  I just never got to prove it at an event.   And, even if I had known the ending in the beginning, I would do it all over again.  I am blessed.

 Thank you readers for following these wonderful Miles of the Journey. God bless you.

Week 29 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Facing Forward

It is getting so close it is scary.  I feel so unprepared but as I look back at my records I have laid down a lot of miles biking and running.  And, I have been doggedly consistent.  My goodness, I have been solid on this journey, now into its 30th week.  Before that, I was no slouch with training consistency either. The records show this.

So what am I scared of so much?  Sure, my long bikes have not materialized.  The longest bike is 75 miles.  But is that really enough to ignore the journey I have been on?  Perhaps it is that I have invested myself into this effort so much that I fear it all come to nothing yet again.   Perhaps, I would rather just walk away than to let all that effort and consistency come to nothing.   I just don't want to take the chance.  There it is.  I am afraid of using and losing what I have built.  There is such a history of failure for me with ironman efforts and I just can't seem to put that down to run the race set before me like God has asked me to.  

So, tonight in my prayers I will ask for the courage to face forward the task set before me and let God control the outcome and receive the glory.

28th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Revelations and Relationships

Ironman training is supposed to be a journey; perhaps a journey of discovery.  Sometimes I forget that and overlook or minimize the satisfying steps along the way.  Sometimes it is just the make-you - smile experiences that evolve into reality over time, along the journey that gives it a certain sweetness.

Through running here on these often bad roads, I have gotten to know a lot of people who can't resist the impulse to stop and talk to this crazy old man out slip-sliding in the mud.  Who knows the positive influence something that out of the ordinary around here makes on someone.  Also, I have gotten to know the dogs around here very well.  They all know now how to sit before I give them treats.  One has learned to roll-over for me.  Some who formerly barked vigorously at me, now sit patiently at the end of their driveway and wait for me to get there and give me glad-to-see-you tail wags.

There are other benefits of the Miles of the Journey.  I can tell I have changed a bit myself and I can sense it is for the better; a better me.  The hardships, the struggles, the consuming fatigue have taken me down past a lot of pride and helped to make me more accepting; yet more discerning; less afraid to let things and people go; more determined and committed to be myself warts and all, affirming I am working on the warts.

This past week of training, was nothing special but consistent. God has been good to me in the revelations and relationships along the Miles of the Journey.

27th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Burning the Bridges

Ironman training has always been revealing.  All it takes is a few months of trying to exert discipline on your lifestyle and you know how vulnerable you are to being steered aside from the path you thought you chose.

Given that, I can see how hard it would be to truly motivate and coach others to a better life result when you can't do that for yourself.  End game is humility and yet another lesson from ironman training.

Last week I did OK but failed to get that long bike ride or that long run.  Oh, the hours and the miles were good but the long stuff I must have run away from. Excuses? Yeah, got quite a few:  the weather was bad; I have to run on dirt and often muddy roads; I have a 30-45 minute drive for an outside ride if the weather did permit; there was so much admin work to do like taxes; then there were visitors showing up unannounced, and on and on, wah, wah, wah, boo-hoo-hoo and so on.

This week started out even worse and time passes until the event: closer, closer still, and I am dwaddling around in nah-nah land with my training.  So, I am going back to my schedule and make myself some bottom limits or performance.  If I don't do above that this next week.  I am dropping out of Ironman Texas.  I need to burn my bridges behind me and leave no other choice than to fight the good fight.  I think God expects no less.

26th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Whatever Happens

Last week was not bad; not great but good enough to be somewhat satisfying in the effort I made.
Consistency is doing really well in my plan but whether that translates into a good performance on race day or not; who knows?  But I get really tired and am not sure I am in way over my head on this one.  Sometimes, no, lots of times, I want to chunk this whole game, take my marbles and go home. In fact, these times come so frequently that I wonder if I still have the motivation to go through all this. And,  I keep asking myself  "why."  Does God really want me to keep on with this?  Lots of times I am not sure.

But too, I am so tired all the time. I can sleep almost anywhere at any time.  This is the journey I signed up for.   In the midst of getting all beat up physically and fatigued to a vegetative state mentally, I still can remember and still find the strength to just keep putting one day after another; one week after another into this training.  Who knows what will come out the other side.  I guess I will leave that to God and walk by faith not by sight right now.  Whatever happens, that will take me home.

25th Week - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Particpant List Acid Reflux

Today the participant list for Ironman Texas came out.  It is not certain why this excites me.  But it does.  According to my calculations, I am the second to oldest participant this year.  There is an 80-year-old signed.  God bless this man.   There are so few of us still doing this at advanced ages.  I counted 11 other men in the 70-74 age group.  

It is great to have something like this.  There are lots of people my age that doesn't seem to have much to get up for anymore and I see that as a shame.  And, it makes me grateful for my own quest, however it turns out. Through my faith in God who brought me my zeal for endurance sports, I have seemed to have sidestepped the quicksands of despair that can be prevalent in these later paths. 

As I reviewed the list of participants and thought of the event and all it entailed and required, I got a light case of acid reflux.  There is only one other participant in my age group.  If I could but just finish this bad boy,  I might qualify to go to Kona for the World Championship.   All of this is frivolous, of course.  In a few years, all this will be "scattered by the swirling winds of time."  All will be gone except God.  But,  I could not but help but smile at myself; the perpetual child, it seems;  blessed by it all and blessed to be a child of God.