For me, the hardest place to look seems to be inside. I condemn other people and media for putting their own distorted spin on events and behaviors while never confronting the spin I put on myself. True self-awareness is hard to come by. - the beast that bites us upon approach. Most often, self-awareness is a hostile area I really don't want to venture into - the ultimate adventure into the minefield of illusions about myself. .
Would I want to be my friend if I met me out there in the world.? What do I talk about that would make me interesting and inspiring. Would I want to spend more time with me or get to know me better.?
One day recently I recorded some of my own conversations and found I don't sound as good as I thought I did. Hmmm. Maybe that is why I, along with many people, dwell a lot on other people's faults and crazy notions?
In preparation for going on yet another endurance sports journey, I started keeping a log of all the junk I eat every day. Nutrition is critical for what I am looking toward, and I can't rely on my own nutritional self- perception. The truth wasn't pretty. The truth is hard to come by about yourself, but like it or not, its the truth. I can either change, or go on and feed and fatten my illusions, and probably not live up to the best I could achieve.
The light of the truth flushes out all weakness and indiscretions. Do I really want to see myself as God sees me. As the Bible says, "no shadow of turning?" Can I live without shadows to hide myself and all my bad habits within? God knows, and He doesn't believe our self-spin for a moment. He wants us to realize and repent to go on to "run the race" He has set before us.
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