My main event is just a little over a month away. It scares me; scares me in good way I suppose. Just thinking about it heightens my senses. I catch my breath. So great to be caught up in this, to have a goal, a passion this deep.
It will hurt at some point and I catch myself wondering how I will stand in against that time. I have been there before many times and in the end found myself smiling. Still there is an element of fear; a tidbit of doubt, and I am glad this still does this to me.
The training is down to a few weeks. Soon it will be over and I will miss it. Over the months it has been a friend that daily, has shown me direction and discipline. Am I really ready for that friend to leave? However, there are so many projects that have been waiting on me: projects I have put off until "after this is over." Now I consider: do I really want it to be over?
Yes, there will probably be a period of ordinary activities with lesser time for swun/bike/run. But my guess is, that time will be short. Even at this age, I am essentially a child with a short attention span for what does not scare me a little or makes me catch my breath.
Having just come out the other side of the "big event" I can relate to everything you've said. You've put in so much hard work leading up to this, and yet knowing and respecting the distance it's also natural to be just a little bit afraid (if not, why would we be doing this? it would be too easy!). And when it's over, there will be times you miss the training and the goal, and yet also all that time to enjoy the stuff you have to put aside right now. You're in the home stretch now!
ReplyDelete