From the Ashes - Again

 Ironman Texas has left the station without me - again.  Some things are just out of my control if I am going to try to remain a caring, committed individual.  I thought it wasn't affecting me much, but I realize now that I was in a sort of numb post-mortem daze.   It got me by.  But now that feeling has returned to my spirit, I have many more questions than answers - life in stagger mode.  Basically, I am resolved to just be led by God in all this.  I keep praying and little by little I can see that I am beginning to get this sorted out somewhat.  Still, there is a way to go.

Strange dreams last night led me to wonder.   One dream was quite positive, affirming and in vivid detail.  Another was more indistinct, yet it had a clear instruction:  start another blog, write another book, or something for the media, called 'THIS I BELIEVE."   It is to be an assertion of my faith in Christ in some form or fashion, though I am not quite sure exactly how this is to be played out.  So, I will pray.

So, here goes again. I have been brought from death to life yet again.  Surely God must be tired of me coming to Him about all this time and again?    Just kidding.  I know He is faithful and caring and wants us to live in hope for this world and the other.

A Day Unlike Any Other Day

By Marvin Dittfurth

https://booklocker.com/books/12152.html and also on Amazon

Week # 24 - Training for Ironman Texas 2022

 Week 24 won't start until tomorrow morning but thought I would get this in.  It went well this week. Got in a really good indoor bike ride of 82 miles - 5 hours in the saddle.  Indoors, that is no small task.  But, don't think  though I am bragging except on God.  I am just so grateful.  This was an answered prayer and it brings me joy, if only for no.  So,  I am going on farther  into the Ironman abyss.  For now, I dare to dare.  

My world seems to be taking on that hue I remember from other efforts, when you can't think about much else but what, when, and how for the training.  The world gets like a darkened tunnel you are in.  Your become more resolute as if it may have been decided already that you are ready to pay the price.  If I have learned anything in almost eight decades on this earth it is that most things of lasting value require sacrifice.  

And too, the training focus puts so many things in the shadows in the light of importance.  And really, maybe these things weren't really that important or urgent to begin with and it takes a focused ironman effort to reveal what is truly important and real. 

So for now, as I sit here all rum-dum and worn out physically and mentally in front of this computer, I want to go on with this and do week #24.  May God continue to bless this old frame on his journey.

 

A DAY UNLIKE ANY OTHER DAY by Marvin Dittfurth (booklocker.com)

Week 23 - Training for Ironman Texas 2022 - Finally Caving to "too old"

 Had a smashing indoor bike ride last night but when I got off I could barely walk.  Both calves were terribly sore and there was pain up and down both legs with every foot plant.  My left leg has been hurting at night but I am assuming that is because it is my week leg with the trashed knee. 

As bad as the pain was last night and even this morning. It looked like my ironman effort is over.  And, it might be over.  All that remains to be seen.  What is that going to do to me?  Do I finally cave to the world screaming "too old?"  Maybe so.  Maybe it is time to let this go on by and do other things, still active, still engaged, just not so big of thing as an ironman.  Truth is, I am really seriously considering that. 

But if there's a chance, a really good "just maybe," well maybe I should try to go on. Some of this injury fatigue is perfectly normal for ironman training the last couple of months. But, I will have to talk to God about this either way. 

A DAY UNLIKE ANY OTHER DAY by Marvin Dittfurth (booklocker.com)

Week # 22 Training for Ironman Texas 2022 - At the End of It All

 I remember that morning well.  It was still dark when we left the hotel. The wind was already fierce.  The American flag at the hotel was ringing its chains and flopping loud in the strong wind.  Oh my.  I have to do a triathlon in that?  Maybe I should not risk it. Maybe the waves will be too high, and the swim will be cancelled.  But the bike, what about the bike?  The course is fairly open and even has a long bridge over the lake.  This wind might blow us over.  I think my stomach is a bit unsettled.  Is this something I should postpone and avoid, for safety's sake, for sure? 

When we arrived at the race site, the waves could be heard rolling in upon the shore.  The wind was howling.  Do you suppose they will go ahead with this?  Should I attempt to go on with stuff.  All my readymade and well-prepared excuses were dumped out there to supposedly add reason and wisdom, but the effect did not take. I wanted it. Fear had somehow morphed into courage, and I wanted it.  I wanted to put my face in the waves and my face into the wind.  I wanted the challenge to stay upright on my bike.  I wanted the whole experience - even if.

Just getting out of the car and unloading the bike and my gear made me braver and I smiled just a bit inside.  The swim was not easy, and I swallowed some water here and there, but I got out with a grin and a good feeling.  My bike leaned with the crosswind going across the lake, but I held it firm and did not fall.  

At the end of it all, I had one of my best triathlons ever.  To think - what would I have missed all that by staying in that safe hotel room, or if we had turned the car around and went home and didn't race?

I think this is my situation with Ironman Texas now, many, many years later.  It looks rough out there for me.  The training isn't going all that well and the time is creeping up on me.  I can really get hurt out there and I have legitimate excuses this time just to stay home and let this ironman thing go on by.  But, what about that great experience that I might leave undone, the genie I left in the bottle.  

https://booklocker.com/books/12152.html

Week # 21 Training for Ironman Texas 2022 - Burn On

 The week has started well enough.  I did a 3 hour run Monday and it made me realize more vividly just how brutal this event is going to be.   I got in a 2000 yard swim yesterday in my wetsuit and it made me realize more vividly how far my training has taken me.  And, in summation, I feel good about it.  As the Bible says, I feel - "I am ready to be offered and the time of my departure is near ----"  But, the last two days was great weather.  Today however  it is cold, damp, windy, and overcast and I haven't broken a sweat yet.  

This tells me that no matter how well I do or think I am doing there is always that sedentary me in there just waiting for an excuse to express itself, to take over my activity level, diminish it, and try to destroy my hope in the process.  It also tells me that one must be constantly and vagrantly on guard against the propensity of the lesser self to want to express itself and drench our dreams.  The lesser sense is a fireman, constantly on duty to pick up on any dreams, hopes, and fire in the spirit and   try to quickly extinguish the blaze.   

Burn on, oh fire of the spirit, blaze brightly leading me on the path to the greater self, to put a smile on God's face that in spite of all, I overcame.

https://booklocker.com/books/12152.html

Week # 20 - Training for Ironman Texas 2022 - Am I Whipped?

 Another mediocre week last week and I can see a pattern here.  Life is sucking the life out of my ironman effort. No long runs, no long rides, no swimming at all, what can I expect from this half-baked training?  I do have consistency and some intensity going for me, but whether that will carry me past the lack of long training, or heavy weeks, well, I sort of doubt it. 

So, there is the problem And, what do I do about it?  Do I fold my tents and go home to an easier focus or do I find a way to bear down and get things done in this ironman training? This is a no brainer.  I can't see giving up until I know I am whipped - which I just might be.  This week I am going to go full tilt with a couple long bike rides with one having a fairly long run behind it. And then there will hopefully the stand alone - long run.  If I can't do this, I will say I am whipped and start the tent folding and the next post here will be a goodbye note. 

So there it is: my expressed disappointment in my self with yet hope for the future, with a test to see if there is indeed a future in this ironman enterprise.  I have prayed about this and I sense it is a good plan. God bless me in it and on this journey.

A Day Unlike Any Other  Day. https://booklocker.com/books/12152.html

Week # 19 Training for Ironman Texas 2022 - In Dreams

 What a hilly course, this ironman training.  I just can't hold a pace anymore it seems with training.  The day to rhythm is captured then lost. I suppose it could be a lot of personal issues competing for my energy and passion. And, sleep hasn't been that good.  Sleep is always a big if.  

And last night I had a dream.  In the dream I was in the presence of someone and having a serious discussion with them.  The face of the person I was talking to was not revealed, but something in that presence made me think it was my Dad ...who has been dead for 38 years.  Scary stuff and a bit weird, I know.  But the presence ended up conveying that I should not do the Ironman in April.  What? 

When I woke up it was hard to get real again.  Could this be a real warning?  Could this be some sort of sign that something bad is going to happen, or that it isn't the best use of time, energy, and resources at this time?  Is this a spiritual sign or was it just a crazy dream?  I am going to have to pray some more about this one. 

I wouldn't be completely heartbroken if I did back out.  There are so many other issues concerning my wife's health and other things, that I need to spend more time on.  I  had been hoping to get this done and then take care of business, but perhaps, who knows?  Like I said I will pray have to pray some more about this   I sure would like some sort of sign and I have asked for one already.  Now, patience Marv.   Wait and trust. 

I have already had  runs at this ironman thing many times over the years, and have written about my ironman journeys in life in a recent book.  Maybe it it time to close the book on ironman with "The End."   I will have to pray some more on this one.

A Day Unlike Any Other  Day. https://booklocker.com/books/12152.html.

Time to go to bed and perhaps - dream again.