My Training Self-Deception

 There have been two pretty good training weeks and I woke up very tired this morning.  So, I am confronted with the problem I always have with training and exercise:  taking some time off.  When I think about taking a day off, my mind immediately goes to all the push-pull stuff I could do around here. And these tasks would be as taxing  and fatigue perpetuating as training itself.  I am  caught in a trop; my own worst enemy.  

Why do I worry about my numbers and the way the training progress will look, when I am brain-fogged with fatigue?  Maybe if I just get out there and run or bike, I will feel less fatigued, and I won't have to miss a day?  So, with all this self-deception going on, for the most part, I live tired. 

I can see through myself on this but don't do much to correct it..  Maybe today?  After all it is a holiday.  Maybe confronting this area of self-deception my lead to me realizing and correcting other areas of self-deception in my life.  I can't do this on my own.  I will pray. Like the scripture says, "Search me and try me." 

Another Mile of the Journey

Great workout. Did 50 miles on my indoor bike trainer and ran a two mile brick run today. Tomorrow I have a 2 mile swim to do. Now, my fatigue level has me almost asleep as I type this. The ironman journey can often be fairly mundane and tiring. There is no fanfare, no applause, just get out of bed and train. The mud slushed under my feet today and no one even knew I was out there on the trails. But, I can't help but believe that in these moments we can grow our strongest. Out on the course, no amount of rah-rah is going to push me past where my body is screaming for me not to go. Lord continue to give me strength.

Embrace the Risk

The nursing home can be a depressing place. The blank, mindless stares of some of the residents, the pill line of wheelchairs, the somber tones of the last days of life, provides stark contrast to what is going on in my heart and head. I see a different world.

And the thought came to me: whatever risk one takes, however depleted one may get out training, however difficult an event may be, however it pours you out; all the fatigue and failure of a lifetime of endurance sports is better than one day in a nursing home.

Most residents don't wish for more stuff, more money, more prestige. They want capability again. "If I could just .......again." What word would we put between the "just" and "again" in that sentence?

As the saying goes, "the first wealth is health." I have health. I have capability. I have today. The only thing that can keep me from embracing the risk of losing or the possiblity of success is my own limited vision. Perhaps I can go deeper, higher,farther than I can yet see?
Perhaps, I can  today be found worthy of the capability God has granted me. Perhaps I can embrace the risk and "just" ....... "again" and "again" and "again."

Yeah, the sun is out. Just got back from a five mile run. And, its a great time to go for good bike ride; embrace the day, embrace the risk while the rush of life courses within me.

Trusting the Within

Where does it come from to get this tired old body out of the recliner and on the road? Why leave so many other things undone to go ride a bike? Why trade ease, comfort, and indulgence for more effort? Why? And for sure at the end of it all is even more fatigue, endured for a cause few care about besides me. 

 Why?

There are no immediate rewards; no parade; no cheering section; just my own willingness to take on the long hot road for a cause I can't completely explain to myself.

As I write this, I am so tired that I only hope this makes sense. Gotta go. I have a two-hour bike and down deep something Within knows why. Even in this haze of fatigue, my foggy brain says despite this apparent senselessness, this still makes sense. So, out the door I go, following, believing, and trusting the Within.