Pulling the Plug

Today I have about decided to pull the plug on ironman this May. In fact, I will probably pull the plug on triathlon for the next six months at least. A fire is built in the fireplace. It burns hot and bright, crackling with noise. Over time the fire burns down and the ashes become only faintly warm. My triathlon spirit is only faintly warm right now. I want to get well.

Yesterday, my back strain came back with a vengeance. As I write this I am squirming in my chair under a certain amount of pain. Is it time to pull the plug? Is this God's plan for me, after all? There is not much that could have been done to get me off this journey except to break my back. Maybe that is it.

There is so much else to be done that I don't think I will mourn too much the loss of this quest. I have been on this quest for years, and let so many things go. I have a book or two to put together and finish. Serious training often leaves me tired, about half brain-dead, and not very creative.

Yes, here it is, embracing another failure at ironman, but this time it doesn't hurt as bad and I think the peace with God and His will for this time in my life, has made failure a success.

Day 30: Thanks for the Mountains; Thanks for the Valleys

An hour and 40 minute run was all I did today. Tomorrow I have my long bike ride for the week. It will be warmer than I would have liked, but it is what I have. It is sort of like that old bad leg; it is bad, but is what I have to work with. Perhaps I have a few surplus years on me, but it is the age I have; the one I have to go with. And chances are I wont make it through all this training but it is the course I have; the one I must continue on. And, the journey has become part of my identity. Even after it is over, I will have had all the journeys that have taken me through life, to successes and failures, to falling down and getting up again, to closeness with God. His hand has always been offered to pick me up off the pavement, and his hand held mine when failure seemed so heavy to bear. "I thank God for the mountains. I thank God for the valleys. I thank God for all the trails He's brought me through" along the miles of my journey.