Another treatment today and I feel keyed up from the drugs. It is another week before a lesser number of drugs for the treatment. Looking at the possible side effects of all the drugs I am taking, it is surprising I am not already dead. I used to joke that my prognosis is good if I survive the treatment. It's no joke anymore.
I can get an estimate of how long I can live with this cancer, but I think an estimate of how long I can live on these cancer drugs, would be more important to know. What if you could live for a 2 years with no treatment at all, but if you do the treatment, it could kill you in a year and a half. Where's the bargain here?
No, I've come this far and I am going to dance with the girl I brought to this shindig. Besides, it is what I decided upon, determined to do, and no matter how hard the miles of the journey become, this is my path, live or die. I gave this over to God with a self-surrender in the tube of an MRI at the hospital, and He still has it. He still has me and I won't back down. I will run the race He has set before me.
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