For some reason today, I am remembering all the painful, fitful nights I spent during this journey. Sometimes, I just felt like giving up on sleep altogether. I don't know how I made it, but I did. I do remember talking to God a lot, wondering what this was for and why. I guess faith held up in that seemingly never-ending storm.
Ordinarily, giving up would be the order of the day. At night, in the pain, in the dark, alone and uncomfortable, one might become desperate about life. But I wasn't really alone. I was never closer to God but I just didn't understand and still don't. But as the song says, he was "my strength, my song in the night."
And night after night, I made it through, though not sure how or how I could go on losing so much sleep. Then, when the hospitalization came, there were more nights I needed and received that strength and heard that "song in the night." I survived thanks to God, but it was a mile of the journey that changed me. I've grown so much closer to God, and that song in the night can be heard more and more in my heart.
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