Stuff still hurts from the bike wreck. It will be a while before I am near ready to seriously train. Nights of limited sleep due to the pain in various body parts, had left me resolute that I should try other pursuits, What? The answer never came. There was no resolution there. Am I to just piddle around and wander from this little thing to the other? Is the age of challenge in my life finally over? Yes, I had resolved, and it was reaffirmed by every pain from every movement.
I had almost successfully given way to the fact that I am too old for this. And I had gotten to the point that this endurance thing wasn't thought about that much anymore. And it felt pretty good not to have that monkey on my back. However, in quiet times it felt shallow, sort of as if, I had relegated my swimming to wading in the kiddie pool. It will go away like these pains I endure, I told myself. Be glad you had a good run of it and be glad it is over.
Sometime back I had made an order for merchandise from Ironman. Today it arrived to trouble my day. Just when I was almost on top of this giving up thing, my "Training for Ironman Texas" T-shirt arrived. It is beautiful and sad too.
I type this with a sore hand and wrist, but the T-shirt stirred me inside. I can't help but think "just maybe." After all the time and effort and trouble I have put into giving in and giving up this mess. So, the question is, "Am I in too deep in walking away from this stuff to walk back into the fray.? At best it would be a long shot to even train for this event. Why go in for another desperate, probably futile attempt? That's seems wise to me but.
There is no resolution in this post. I am just going to have to talk to God.
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