I sometimes catch myself wondering why I don't have many friends anymore. Seems like I am a nice enough guy to me. But maybe that is not how others see me? But, upon closer inspection I find that I do have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, most are deceased, and several are disabled in various forms. I haven't replaced these friends as I went along. So, I am left without many friends, it seems.
As I approach 79 years old it is hard to find friends my age who do what I do. Younger people admire old coots that do what I do. But, they admire from a distance. What young person wants to be around an old geriatric just trying to keep up. Nice they give you kudos, but that's not what one would call a relationship. So here I am still feeling vital having trouble being comfortable around people my age or even 10-20 years younger. Their many limitations, ailments, and lack of activity, and age bemoaning self-talk bring me down. So, I find myself wanting to be around the younger folks who don't want me around.
A line from the movie "Rocky Balboa:" "The older I get the more things I gotta leave behind. That's life." So true. It's life. Get over it. Move on. Stay the course; one step then another, though it be without a lot of friends. Friends can't gut out the run for you in the last miles of the run on the end of an ironman. Friends can cheer you on and give you kudos, but they can't loan you fresh legs.
That's life but I do miss those days of a group of us younger men all going off to some huge event together and sharing our stories and hopes for future events. That's life but I sure miss that part of it, like you miss a departed loved one. But those days are gone and cannot be relived, only grieved and appreciated. So, I smile and am so very thankful for those memories as I prepare for making more memories in a different social environment: alone. It is not my first choice but "that's life" and it's still great. Thanks God
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