Looking back after writing down all that has happened to me and the challenges I was and am still faced with, it leaves me with a sense of awe. Awe not in what I did or endured, but how it all worked out. Truly, Romans 8:28 applies here:
"All things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose."
No way I could have experienced the level of dependency on God if I had not been placed "between the sword and the stone," so to speak. When you can contemplate your own death and be accepting of it, I think you reach a new level of being. Things are different. You have reached that level of "face in the mud humility. "
When I have fervently prayed for others out in the woods at my prayer spot, I would often put my face into the leaves and pray. My view is that the pride of a person is in his face. When the face is humbled, perhaps pride can be put aside in humility to get closer to God in prayer.
The goal now is not to bend into the world and all the problems, not worried about when facing life and death, but always recall and renew that level of humility by remembering all God brought me to and through and all He still has in store.
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