I'm Gonna Have to Talk to God

 Stuff still hurts from the bike wreck.  It will be a while before I am near ready to seriously train.  Nights of limited sleep due to the pain in various body parts, had left me resolute that I should try other pursuits, What?  The answer never came. There was no resolution there.  Am I to just piddle around and wander from this little thing to the other?  Is the age of challenge in my life finally over?   Yes, I had resolved, and it was reaffirmed by every pain from every movement. 

I had almost successfully given way to the fact that I am too old for this. And I had gotten to the point that this endurance thing wasn't thought about that much anymore.  And it felt pretty good not to have that monkey on my back.  However, in quiet times it felt shallow, sort of as if, I had relegated my swimming to wading in the kiddie pool.  It will go away like these pains I endure, I told myself.  Be glad you had a good run of it and be glad it is over.

Sometime back I had made an order for merchandise from Ironman. Today it arrived to trouble my day. Just when I was almost on top of this giving up thing, my "Training for Ironman Texas" T-shirt arrived. It is beautiful and sad too. 

I type this with a sore hand and wrist, but the T-shirt stirred me inside.   I can't help but think "just maybe."  After all the time and effort and trouble I have put into giving in and giving up this mess.  So, the question is, "Am I in too deep in walking away from this stuff to walk back into the fray.?  At best it would be a long shot to even train for this event.  Why go in for another desperate, probably futile attempt?  That's seems wise to me but. 

There is no resolution in this post.  I am just going to have to talk to God.

Bike Wreck

 Last Sunday my son and I were on a bike ride.  I was following and we touched bikes and I went down hard on pavement.  My head hit but thankfully the helmet took the blow for my head. I was bleeding from several spots on my body and felt terribly shaken.  My son went to get the vehicle while I waited on the side of the road.  

A nice woman pulled up in a vehicle and asked if I needed any help.  I told her no, that my son was gone to get our vehicle,   However, she would not leave me there and she  stayed  and talked to me until my son came with the vehicle.  The world is not all what the news reports it to be.  There are concerned, caring, people out there, quietly going about doing good.  It was no surprise she is  a Christian.  

Now 72 hours later I am still sort of in a state of shock.  Parts of my body hurt but I don't think I have any broken bones, amazingly.  But, sleeping is pure horror trying to get into a position that is not painful.  Consequently, I haven't gotten a lot of sleep this week.  

This time I think I really did it.  This time I think I will require a very long recovery time and my athletic endeavors are pretty much over with for a while. And all the plans, purposes, and hopes have ended in a moment on a piece of pavement. Such is life.  Health and life is only for today.  The Lord's Prayer says, "Give us THIS DAY our daily bread."

I don't know where to take it from here right now.  I have no plans except to get through recovery.   So, I am grateful for all the great experiences I have had and the things I have accomplished.  And I am thankful for this day's bread whatever that may be.  The rest of the story? I have just have to leave the rest to God, whatever that may be. Nevertheless, thy will be done.

Life Is Richer Shared

 Mike Reilly is retiring at the end of the year.    Ironman is changing.  Maybe it has been changing all along, but the effects have just now surfaced?  I guess I have changed too along the way, because I understand all this more than I would have a decade ago.  I seems I am peaceful and more acceptable than I once was.  If that is so, that's a good thing. 

I guess it is firmly imprinted now that there is more to life than single minded focus to attain a personal goal.  I can see from Mike Reilly's resignation speech the conflicting emotions over doing the job he loves and  properly attending to the people he loves.  And the truth, - in my mind - is that if you gain the whole world of personal goals; if you kill the courses of every ironman out there, if you set a PR on every ironman you enter, and loose the richness of relationships with those you love, then, you have lost the race.  You have failed to finish.  I have lived long enough to know that these accomplishments and goals we achieve have a short shelf life, good relationships don't. 

So, what does that all mean to an old creaky codger that just hopes he can get through the training.  It means, enjoy the experience and bring those that love you along.  After losing so many people out of my life, I have regrets that I could have come closer to so many that are long departed.  I come to the conclusion that life is richer - shared.  

So, choose wisely those you bring close, but those that are close, bring them closer, include them in the joy of the process so there is no conflict of interest or purpose, but the joy of shared experience.