Week 30 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Wounded - The End of this Dream

The Coronavirus thing has really gotten scary for us old folks.  Several large events have already been cancelled and I would not be surprised if Ironman Texas will be cancelled as well. Regardless of what the rest of the world does and think,  my wife and I don't feel good about being in an international crowd at our advanced age.  And, given the compromised immune system  one usually gets from taking  the body farther than it wants to go, it wouldn't be a good time to be in crowds.

This came in this afternoon March 13, 2020 - At this time, we can confirm that the 2020 IRONMAN Texas triathlon will not take place as planned on April 25, 2020. We are working diligently to secure venues and a new race date for the IRONMAN Texas triathlon. 

My Ironman dream is over, and who knows if it will ever to come to life again. Right now it seems doubtful that I have another one of these training regimens in me.   This part of life seems to be leaving the station without me.  I did the best I could, and gave it to God. He said, "No."

So now with no journey I am scattered and drifting.  Maybe it is time to let go and drift downriver for a few moments and  just savor all the great days of the journey;  all  the triumphs and all the disappointing workouts which blended  together made the canvas of this painting so beautiful.  Not many people get to live like I have the past few years, especially at this age. Adding it all up over my seven plus months of training I find I have ran 665 miles, biked 4031, and swam 31.  A lot of hard work for an old relic.  Sure I am   severely disappointed but,  after  all the Miles of the Journey,  I find myself stronger - physically and mentally  and  more resilient, more accepting of myself and others, more grateful to God for the revelations that can only be learned by failure and disappointment.   Within me the Miles of the Journey seem to have left a heightened awarenss  of what are the  truly important things in life.

This is not to say that dropping out  is all sunshine and rainbows:  no, not at all.   Something I want bad enough, I have usually achieved.  So, learning to live with the failure and frustration of  giving my best effort and still not being able to quite make the reach will haunt me for a while.  Recovery will involve  learning  to live  wounded to a certain degree for a time.   But lots of people learn to live with things that don't work out  and so can I. Maybe that is one of the lessons.  After all, I AM an IRONMAN.  I just never got to prove it at an event.   And, even if I had known the ending in the beginning, I would do it all over again.  I am blessed.

 Thank you readers for following these wonderful Miles of the Journey. God bless you.

Week 29 - Training for Ironman Texas 2020 - Facing Forward

It is getting so close it is scary.  I feel so unprepared but as I look back at my records I have laid down a lot of miles biking and running.  And, I have been doggedly consistent.  My goodness, I have been solid on this journey, now into its 30th week.  Before that, I was no slouch with training consistency either. The records show this.

So what am I scared of so much?  Sure, my long bikes have not materialized.  The longest bike is 75 miles.  But is that really enough to ignore the journey I have been on?  Perhaps it is that I have invested myself into this effort so much that I fear it all come to nothing yet again.   Perhaps, I would rather just walk away than to let all that effort and consistency come to nothing.   I just don't want to take the chance.  There it is.  I am afraid of using and losing what I have built.  There is such a history of failure for me with ironman efforts and I just can't seem to put that down to run the race set before me like God has asked me to.  

So, tonight in my prayers I will ask for the courage to face forward the task set before me and let God control the outcome and receive the glory.