Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Moments to Cry About

I cry more now as an older person.  Perhaps, I have matured enough to let emotion go and not try to control.  Perhaps, I am not as afraid.

Looking back as I round the bend to become 75 years old this year,  I find that I can easily tear up over the loss of a loved one,  special memories, children who get hurt or abused, moving music, a total surrender prayer, things of my faith, and all kinds of things I let inside more easily with age. 

And I can mist up over endurance sports as well, specifically ironman - my own ironman quest, and the quests of others .  Today I watched the trailer of the movie coming out, We Are Triathletes  https://us.demand.film/we-are-triathletes/ and again, I was moved to tears.  It wasn't sadness that brought the rain, but passion, feeling, caring, inspiration all just bubbling over and out my eyes. 

I am so blessed to have things that reach that deep into me and make me feeling truly and fully alive.  I think it is a gift from God - one I shouldn't ignore or take for granted. In looking back at the photos of my last attempt, I still feel that tearing up, that welling up of emotion, that pull toward wanting more, wanting it again. 

These times say that regardless of age, and  beyond all doubt  there really is no other good choice.  Why give up on something that makes you feel this much alive, and this close to God.   So fail or succeed, I must try  this ironman thing again and build upon the moments I  love, moments to cry about for the rest of my life.  Thank God, I am blessed with the quest.