Friday, June 23, 2017

I Am Afraid

Decision time comes in about three days. I am afraid. Yes, I am afraid; afraid of the level of commitment required; the amount of fatigue to endure; the pain, the discomfort. I am afraid. I am afraid that I can't sustain the season and consequently, will have to admit that I am getting too old. I am afraid of what I would have to put my loved ones through yet again. And, I am afraid that if I do make it to the starting line that my performance may even be worse than the year before. Here again, I would have to admit I need to find more sedentary pursuits and start checking out the price of rocking chairs.

But, I am more afraid of giving up before I am finished and what it would do to me. I am afraid that I won't cope well with lesser challenges and a more mediocre lifestyle. I have been to the mountain, and it might be hard now to live in the valleys.

So, amidst hopes and fears I count the costs like the disciples of Jesus did before assuming a life of sacrifice.

"For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first , and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Luke 14:28

So, I have counted the cost and prayed enough to know God is with me: now, then, and forevermore, and I am not afraid.