Monday, October 12, 2015

Day 34: I Wish It Were Different But It Isn't

A 2 hours plus run today; not fast, just steady. Tonight, I can barely get up from the couch. The incessant bad knee haunts me like a ghost. I wish different but it isn't. All the miles I have ran on that leg seem to be adding up and closing me down. Many times at night that knee wakes me up with its pain as if a reminder that I can't just will forward through this. I have had my days, my thousands and thousands of miles. Any more will be paid for in the currency of pain. I wish it were different but it isn't.

In a way it is like the scriptures says, "cast down but not destroyed." In some respect I might be cast down physically, but not mentally, personally, and least of all, spiritually. In another sense my bad knee serves as a reminder of the blessing of thirty plus years of challenge, hope, enthusiasm, these legs have given me. And now, the pain beckons me to step out in faith, believing God, even though that stepping out is painful at times.