Monday, December 5, 2011

"Fix Me, Fix Me!"

It is so easy and obvious to see the faults in others. The wrongness of the behavior of others is so glaringly apparent, like the blinking off and on of Christmas lights, begging the opportunist critic; “fix me, fix me!” And as long as working on other people is a full time job, there is just not the time or the demand to work on oneself.

In doing endurance sports I have always hoped that I was an inspiration for others to emulate. But, the thought crossed my mind the other day, as to whether I want to be an inspiration, or do I want to inspire. I had often thought they were the same thing but is being an inspiration really about me? Is it about me being something to be admired, or about others being inspired?

As a triathlete in my mid/ late sixties, do I really like it when others applaud my performance because I can feel like a tough old bird for my age? Or, do I do it so others might be inspired to challenge their own perceived age and physical limitations, regardless of the credits given?

Upon examining true motives I have often found myself prideful-pounding on my chest like some geriatric Tarzan. There is a scripture which says something to the effect, “Search me O God and know my heart: try me and know my thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23) That is a scary proposition. It would be a lot easier and less painful to work on the faults of someone else. But, I have found that my greatest times of personal and spiritual growth occurs, after I have sincerely asked God to “fix me, fix me!” When I am more nearly "fixed" perhaps others will be inspired?