Is It Enough?

 Maybe it is because I am so aware that I don't have that much longer to live?  Perhaps, I don't want to spend precious and depleting time getting over some injury?  Perhaps it's something like Thoreau wrote about when he left Walden.  He says something to the effect that he left the woods for a good reason, as he went there and had other lives to live and had spent enough time on this one. My goodness, but I have spent a lot of time on this one.  Is it enough?

This is where the rubber meets the road:  Is it enough?  At times like this year, mostly recovering from injuries, it certainly seems so.  Surely, after all I  have done in endurance sports, I don't have anything to prove - or do I? 

Perhaps I just need to prove I still can.  Perhaps proving I still can that helps hold the life door shut and not let feeling old get in.  Maybe there are things to yet prove.  Perhaps there are mountains,  though different mountains now, to climb? 

We've Changed But the Incline of the Hill Hasn't - Push On

 

 

Everyone who has run or biked a sizable hill knows the feeling.  At first, it isn’t too bad. Momentum carries you into the first part of the incline.  “This hill ain’t so bad!”

That is sort of how it is with youth.  Things come easy.  If we are blessed the hill goes on for us, they keep coming at us.    Into the hill, the legs start to strain and the breathing is getting more labored.  The arms are having to pump harder to help out.  Now you see upon looking up that the hill seems so much longer and steeper than it did before—and harder. Yes, it gets harder almost with each step. So at this stage of life the gloves start coming off for the youth.

It goes on and on, pedal stroke upon pedal stroke and we seem to be barely moving.  Dig down.  This is where the rubber meets the road.   We are youth growing up, becoming men and women in the real world. 

Then, it seems, as we begin to approach the top of the hill, we reach the steepest part.  This could be middle age, facing your frailties and now diminished ability.  You have changed but The hill hasn’t.  It stands as tall, as steep, and as resolute as when you were much younger.  

Now, it gets really tough.  Dig down. Don’t walk.  It hurts!  Don’t quit!  Keep going no matter how slowly. Then there is a more level spot as the hill gives up before we do and we breathe deeply to recover our wind and smile as best we can at the beauty of  it all. It was a very good day.  I was  a very good life.

 

Trusting in My Landmark

 Being a triathlete again seems so far away.   I look across this great sea of issues, and I can't see the other side that well. 

It reminds me of when I fished on this lake ten miles wide in my small boat.  To get back across the lake, the object was to find a landmark on the other side and focus my travel back on that landmark.  Sometimes it was cloudy.  Sometimes it was hazy.  Sometimes it was raining.  Sometimes the waves pitched the boat about, but I had to strain and be sure to focus and travel in the direction of my landmark.

The water has been rough lately, and there have been rains and storms.  My little boat seems so ill-equipped for this voyage. My landmark is God.  And, I know I must pursue that landmark across this lake of severe disappointment.  

So today, I put the bow of my boat into the waves and head toward the landmark.  He will be there to guide me, whatever the weather.  Today, let me put fear aside and trust in my landmark to guide me across.