Why Not?

Why not sign up? You have already embraced failure at this ironman thing three times, haven't you? You should be tough skinned to failure by now, shouldn't you? You have practiced failure enough to be good at it. So what's the deal? You can do this: fail or succeed, can't you? You were called to this; weren't you? You said you were. Were just making that up? Who knows?

Perhaps now the fruit is ripe and the time of harvest has come, finally and maybe things will be different? Some things are already different this year:
1. The event date is about three weeks earlier in the year: less heat on the run.
2. The bike has been changed and should be faster, giving me more time for my slow run.
3. The swim could easily be wetsuit legal, giving me more time for my slow run.
4. I have learned how to run with a brace for my bad knee helping out my slow run.
5. I was able to book rooms right on the course and at the finish. My wife will be OK.

And there are some normal negatives too:
1. My knee isn't anywhere near 100% and I still walk with a limp. My wife said so.
2. My hamstring to hip has been sore for a while and could get worse.
3. I seem terribly fatigued and motivation to stay long is not as good as it once was.
4. The biggest negative is that I AM SCARED! Yes, scared of getting seriously beaten up
5. And I am scared of failing again.You see, I really never got comfortable with failing

Still, considering everything, I am hanging back; waiting for a sign this time; not going on my own whim and what seems right to me. I have failed at this so many times that I am not going into this unless God goes with me.

The decision was made about a month later: I AM In
http://milesofthejourney.blogspot.com/2016/08/im-in.html