Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Do I Dare?

Do I dare be confident? It is all going so well. Do I dare? The half marathon I ran a few days ago really went well, and I hit the time goal I had hoped for. My swimming is not any faster, but I am able to swim much father without getting fatigued. My bike training may be the best I have ever had. I have set PRs in events recently. I feel good with no real injuries. Do I dare?

More importantly, I feel at peace. This is hard to quantify. I just know that since that ride to the emergency room on Father's Day this year, when I thought it was my last ride on this earth; since then, peace has come easier. Reducing life to a few precious moments had a de-toxing effect. I hope this heightened awareness doesn't go away. Right now, I seem to spend a lot of time in a state of revel and thankfulness. Maybe life finally got real? Perhaps deep inside me, I finally got it that on this earth, everyone is simply experiencing a life on loan. Now more than ever I want to live deep, taking it all in; the big things, sure, but most especially the little things; like a granddaughter's smile, the beauty of the sunrise, the smell of fresh coffee in the morning, the patter of my running shoes, the hum of my bike tires, the soothing feeling of water warbling over the body, the intricacies of a flower, and the feeling of love in my heart for those I can't agree with. Do I dare be confident? Of course. "God has not given us the spirit of fear---." I have nothing to lose that I will not eventually lose anyway. All the things of earth will be stripped away and I will be back to the beginning: "In the beginning God -----." God not renewed my lease on this life on that Father's Day ride to the emergency room and each days calls me to renew that life I have been called to live. Yes, I cannot but dare.