2017 The Resolution to Be Oneself

This was my New Years Eve post last year. 

How did I do?

Saturday, December 31, 2016

New Years:  Getting Up One More Time

New Years Eve: I have failed at getting to the start of the ironman many times, yet as I listen to the fireworks out there in the night, I yet have hope, and I yet have the will to keep trying. God just won't let me quit, Somehow, I still find it inside to keep training: to keep hoping. I get older and older and fail and fail. Yet, in the end, I somehow still hope. That Hope is more than I could muster on my own. I like that quote: "The miracle is not that I finished but that I had the courage to begin." So this New Years Eve I am thankful and feel blessed that I have been given the courage to begin and begin again and begin again, and again. Tonight I am thankful that God pushed me to simply have the will, the hope, to get up one more time, to have the courage to hope. In the process, doubt and fear had to be dealt with and overcome and all the arguments for mindless moderation must be argued down. To me it sometimes seems that the world would level us off into clones of one another. And if we are not "acting our age," or following some less courageous predetermined pattern, it is as if a violation of the natural order has been committed.

So my resolution is to be myself. To hope where there doesn't seem to be a reason to; to keep getting up to reach for more. Who knows. I might just inspire someone else to step outside the preordained prescription for their lives. You never know who is watching or reading this post; someone waiting for inspiration; waiting to see if I will get up yet one more time than I get knocked down, and finish the "race set before me."

 

So went was my New Years post last year.  I ask myself;  how did I do?   I ask God: How did I do?   The training for Ironman Texas really beat me up.  However, I made it to the starting line for the first time in many, many tries.  I finished the swim and bike but couldn't go on. It was the hardest thing I have ever tried to do.  The support was amazing.  An experience of a lifetime.  Maybe I should quit here, I had thought.   I signed up again: in training now.   How did I do last year?  The answer is in the smile I have at writing this, in the feeling of the "peace with oneself" feeling in my hearth thinking upon last year.  So I didn't do too badly, I guess.  I am still standing, still trying, still dreaming and hoping, getting knocked down and getting back up.  Praise God.

December 3rd - Going On - Life in the Present Moment

It wasn't a big successful run yesterday like I planned.  But the week was a good one as far as ramping up my training.  I was tired.  It could be much worse.  We buried my dad on this day many years ago and so much of him remains in me.  In fact, much of the endurance mindset I have, I can tell it was his first. Thank you God for a great father and an example of manhood.  I wish I could tell him all this and I guess the take-away is:  don't wait to tell it.  All of life is in the present moment; seize it.

 And so it is with my ironman effort. Sure I have failed at this many, many times. Sure, I will be competing as a 75 year old; an age group where no one finished last year.  Sure, I have a gimp knee which could blow at any time.  Sure, sure, sure.  But, life in the present moment brings a gleam to my eyes, a hope to my step.  What have I got to lose that won't be lost.  How many much more disabled than I would love  the chance; just the chance, to be on this beautiful journey I am on.  To  live the life of the present moment with just a sliver of hope of achieving the seemingly impossible.  For this opportunity; for this journey; I am truly blessed.
 



December 1, 2017 - I Go On

Bearing down a bit on training.  It is time. Last weekend did a 3 and 1/2 hour run.  Yesterday did a 61 mile bike.  During all this I have had an upper respiratory congestion which means a lot coughing amid the workouts.  It is OK.  I feel blessed to even be in this league of participants. The congestion will go away and probably some new obstacle will appear in the path.  I am ready for that too. Mentally I seem to be closing ranks in preparation for the onslaught of massive training.  A lot of things get sifted into their rightful bin of true importance.  God remains. I go on.