Feeling Understood

"Ironman training is like being a hurdler?" "How is that," I asked my wife. "Well, there is so much stuff, people, and situations you have to respond to, that I see you as a hurdler. You swim, swim, swim and, then back to the world and start jumping one hurdle after another. You go bike, bike, bike and off the bike, again, there are the hurdles to jump. Sometimes, you get tired, sometimes slip, sometime you fall trying to clear all the hurdles. Your Ironman training has been about getting back up after a fall and continue with the hurdles." I feel understood. Being understood makes it easier to swim, bike, run and, oh yes, clear the hurdles.

Just Begin - Again

Me and my training are crawling out of the "holiday hole." The weather is cold, wet under foot, rainy, and uninspiring. And I remember a former post written about overcoming the heat to train http://milesofthejourney.blogspot.com/2012/08/just-begin.html It was entitled, "Just Begin", and what is true of training in the heat is true of training in the cold and wet: just begin. And now, after the holiday setbacks, the lack of motivation, the call goes out from my spirit: just begin - again. And begin again and again and again; whatever it takes. I believe that the key to consistency and success in anything "is not in never falling but rising each time I fall." Begin, just begin. Just begin -- again.

Facing the Future - Even if You Fail

Is the beginning of this year how the rest of it will go? I hope not. So many issues to be assimulated and dealt with in last few days of the holiday seas. Ironman training, has been downgraded to whatever I can get in between episodes of other life. Each day I seem to lose more ground in my training. It reminds me of losing at tug-a-war. Little by little, the superior will and strength of the other side, drag us across the line to losing. But, the Miles of the Journey were worth it. There is a song about pursuing a dream that that goes: "you can face the future even if you fail." And I can. I had my best year ever bike riding last year; my best year swimming. Along the way were some marvelous experiences. So, as another song goes, "I thank God for the mountains and I thank God for the valleys. I thank God for all the trials He's brought me through." This coming year the sun will eventually shine. My life will eventually be mostly mine again. In the meantime, I will train as hard as can when I can, dream as big as I can, knowing that through God, I can face the future, even if I fail.

Beyond the Nonsense

Just an animal, I suppose. When I get hurt, injured, I just want to be left alone; to just go off and die a little bit, like some animals do. No idea why. Perhaps it is a defensive posturing or something? For some reason my back and hips are killing me, and there seems no relief. And, I wonder: is this the way it will end. Scary too, I know I won't go peacefully. My M O is to mope around a while, then do something outlandish with myself; like going out for a 100 mile bike ride just to spite my bad back. Beyond all that nonsense though, lies an underlying, foundational peace and acceptance. And my next question is what I am called to learn through this? Advanced degrees in living for me have always been procured by facing down the hard times. The ironman is my dream, and I still believe; my calling. Failure will be fought with my last drop of resolve. But, if failure comes, I will know that I have earned yet another advanced degree in patience, endurance, and acceptance of the will of God upon my life. Failure isn't final.

Still Standing

I'm still standing and about to enter week 6 of this Ironman training. Still standing, I keep pinching myself to see if I really have made it this far. Oh my, but the obstacles came out of the woodwork when I made this plan. And, the plan is sort of like the event itself. I don't have to be real fast. I just have to stay standing and keep moving forward. And there have been many failing but another skill I am learning is how to forgive myself for not living up to my expectations and, again, keep moving forward. Take another step, train another day, and another. And another week is put to bed and I am closer and the journey keeps getting sweeter the more vested I become in it. Next week will be are all sorts of obligations with the Christmas season upon. The challenges in time and energy management will be great; just like the event might be. With all that has been thrown at me, I am a little surprised that I am still in the game..moving forward: still standing. "Nobody hits harder than life.....And it's not about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward." Rocky Balboa

It Was Stupid

Into the fray once more. Week # 5. It was was stupid to do heavy work here on the place right before a 60 mile bike ride. It was stupid to go on with the bike ride after I had hurt my back and hip here. It was stupid to ramp up my pace to a race at mile 50 when a friend joined me on my ride. Of course, he was fresh and uninjured, but my pride just wouldn't let him go. It was stupid. Now after four days of very light efforts, I am almost healed enough to resume training. It was a lesson learned. But my hope is that it will be not just be learned but acted upon in the future. I have be blessed with too much to squander this just because I was stupid.

The Journey Continues - The Storm is On

Not perfect, but who is. Week three was tough. Fatigue: I have it. Ironman training, you hurt. The sifting process goes on. The greatest change is not just the increased training but the number of other life obstacles that want my time. And, lots of time, I just want to rest or sleep like death. This week - the fourth - is supposed to be a little lighter -transition - training week. Today, I went out for a 50 mile bike. Felt pretty good in spite, and was about 15 miles in when I heard the beep on my cell phone. I usually don't answer my phone but call back when I stop at the end of my 20 mile loop. Today, for some reason, I stopped and answered the phone. My wife - a storm - really bad storm - coming my way. Thank God I answered that phone. Thank God for the support of my wife. She said there was lots of lightening with the storm which gave me incentive to get back to the truck quickly. Away I went, thankful for the roads still being dry, the winds not fierce, and no lightening in sight.....yet. I put the hammer down, breathing in gasps, redlining going up the hills; screaming down the downhills, hammering on flats. With only a couple more miles to go I still had dry roads. But, the winds were in my face and I could see many flashes of lightening up ahead. Hammer time. I turned into the driveway to the parking lot where my truck was parked. Off the bike, gasping for air, running with the bike, large drops starting to fall hard on me. Wide, white, crackling, zig-zags of light, were followed quickly by bomb-like booms and rumbling. I didn't stop to load the bike but quickly, and almost on the run, laid the bike in the back of the truck, then immediately got in cab. Thank you God ! I had made it. In a few moments, the rain was a downpour. The storm was on. My bike ride had been cut short, but I did have one solid time-trial today. I really don't think I have ever done any better. And the journey goes on. Like in the story of the Alamo, my flag still proudly waves from the walls of my life. Thank you God this isn't boring and lacking adventure. I am loving this journey. Even if it ends tomorrow. I am blessed.